#now the pictures need to be edited first (and that might take an indefinite amount of time tbh

[yuurionviktor]

Ianthe cosplay finally saw the light of day

[citrineghost]

Avoiding Scams on Freelancing Sites

Hi there! I almost just got scammed today, and I’m going to take the LITTANY of red flags from this interaction and use it to teach you all about how to avoid scams.

I am not making very much money right now. I just lost one of the accounts I was writing for, so I am not not even making enough to pay my rent. So I am desperately looking for work. And, like many people desperately looking for work, my panicking subconscious is willing to see a red flag and brush it under the rug because

“I’m probably being paranoid.”

So, to all of my lovely artists, writers, editors, and other types of freelancers who are desperately looking for work, I would like to create a comprehensive list of things that you should NOT FUCKING IGNORE while looking for a job. Actually, the list will be formatted as things you should expect from your employer/interviewer and if these things are missing, get the fuck out of there.

1. Reputable Platforms

The first thing you should be expecting is to use reputable platforms. If you��re being asked for a virtual interview, you should expect your interviewer to invite you via Skype, Discord, (Maybe slack if they’re middle-aged), perhaps Whatsapp, or whatever website you’re using to find your job.

DO NOT go for interviews on Telegram. This app has been reported as very commonly being associated with scams. This is where my recent experience took place.

2. Willingness to Verify Legitimacy

The first thing you should do when being in contact with an interviewer or HR is ask them to verify their identity. 

This may not be necessary if doing a video call with someone pictured on an official company website, receiving emails or texts from addresses/numbers that are listed on an official company website, or if the job you’re being interviewed for was applied to directly on the company website. In these cases, you are not likely to be scammed, as you’re working with verifiably information.

If you meet someone on Indeed, Fiverr, Upwork, or any other freelancing/job site, keep your contact within the website’s chat system, email system, or whatever. This is how you remain protected under the hiring site’s TOS/Legal whatever. If you get scammed because you took your hiring process elsewhere, they will not help you.

That being said, if you DO take your interview off the site, it should be somewhere reputable and you should ask for your interviewer to verify their identity before doing literally anything else. The best way to get them to verify their identity is to ask them to email or text you from an address or phone number listed clearly on the official company website, by asking them to show you their state ID and checking it for photoshop influence, or by asking to do a video call for the interview and seeing for yourself that you’re being interviewed by someone who is pictured on the official company website as an employee.

3. Clear and Professional Procedures

Any professional working as an interviewer or human resources personnel will have a skillset related to communication and organization. When being interviewed you should expect a number of questions about your skills and how you’re valuable to the company, etc. However, this is easy to fake, as a scammer. What you need to look out for is that they show a clear amount of structure.

If you’re asked for an interview, no real company will demand you be quick about responding. If they’re interested in an interview, a legitimate company is not likely to ask you to do the interview immediately. They will ask you to schedule an interview time with them. They may ask if you have availabilities that day, but they will not just start interviewing you immediately.

After the interview, any professional company will tell you that they will get back to you when they’ve made a decision about your interview. No professional company will tell you to wait for an indefinite amount of time while they talk to HR peers. If a company Does want you to wait, because they intend to make a quick decision, they will give you an expected wait time, as that is the courteous and professional thing to do. They will not expect you to be on-call for this period of time. A time projection is simply to give you an idea of what to expect. For example, “I’ll be in touch within the next 1-3 hours about the results of your interview. Thank you for your time.”

Furthermore, if you are accepted for a job, any professional company will make a clear outline of exactly how they plan to introduce you into company life. They will respect your time and ask you to schedule things with them. For example, “Is there a period of 2-3 hours within the next few days where you would be available for an orientation?” 

No professional company will demand you do anything at any particular time. That is not how legitimate professionals treat new employees. You will be asked to schedule things with them. Even when you’re assigned work hours, if the exact hours you’re applying for are not listed in the job description you applied for, they will ask you to fill out some kind of time sheet to outline your availabilities, then schedule you for times within that outline.

4. Doesn’t Show Signs of Money Scamming

There are two major red flags when it comes to money scams. Your interviewer should never ask you what bank you use and your interviewer should never ever tell you they’re going to send you a check, unless they send your paycheck as a check.

One of the more common scams at the moment is run by people pretending to be members of legitimate companies, hiring freelancers for things like proofreading and editing. These remote positions may require home office hardware, right? The interviewer will tell you you’re missing some hardware and software that are required for the job. Then they’ll tell you that they will send a check that you can cash and use to buy the required materials.

This is even sketchier if they email you front and back images of the check and tell you to print it and then deposit it through mobile banking. The way this works is that, if you cash the check successfully, you will then buy the list of software, which is usually completely unrelated to the job you’re being hired for, then they will cancel the check, which hasn’t cleared completely. That leaves you with ~$2k dollars less in your bank and their money right back where it started in theirs. Presumably, the scammers are the ones selling the software. So, that $2k dollars you just spent is also going into their bank account.

Professional companies will never offer to send you checks to buy products. If they have official hardware or software that they want you to use, they will buy it themselves and then send it to you. There is never a reason why a new hire should buy hardware or software out of their own bank, whether they have been given money for it or not.

Furthermore, a legitimate company will never ever pay you before you have signed and sent your contract to them. One of the obvious giveaways of the scam I was almost caught in was that I was sent the contract last night and I asked if I could send it in today, since it was getting late. The interviewer agreed. I signed it in the morning and then asked him if I should send it in a reply to the email I got the original contract from or if there’s another email I need to send it to. He completely ignored my question, asked me how I was doing, and then went into the check-related information so I could buy software.

The issue was bothering me ALL DAY. I knew there was something extremely weird about that, so I asked again a few hours later. His response? “You have nothing to worry about.” ?????? I was aghast. I wasn’t worried at all! I just wanted an answer! If he had simply told me to respond to the email I’d gotten the contract from, I might have fallen for his scam! What a terrible scammer smdh

A Non-Exhaustive List of Other Red Flags

Your interviewer shows a poor grasp on the language

If your interviewer is making frequent grammatical errors that are glaringly obvious to any native speaker, that is a huge red flag. HR reps and interviewers are hired because of their communication skills. It is highly unlikely that someone who makes non-native-like errors is legitimate unless they are actually openly non-native, in which case, it’s not so alarming.

Your interviewer is showing impatience or demanding you at certain times

If your interviewer is telling you to “report back by 8am tomorrow” without any kind of prior agreement that this is an acceptable time for you to meet, that is extremely unprofessional and shows a lack of patience. Scammers want to get to the meat of their scam quickly and will use an air of professional superiority and authority to scare you into moving faster than necessary.

Your interviewer shows a lack of opening and closing statements

Along the lines of the clear processes that I mentioned above anybody who is initiating you in the job you’re taking should show clear opening and closing statements. What I mean by this is: professionals in human resources or management positions will not keep you as a social hostage. If you’ve been discussing how you’ll begin training or somesuch, they will not just leave you hanging. You should have a dedicated time slot where you will have your discussion and, at the end of it, your supervisor should make a closing statement. For example, “It looks like our time is running out for today. What would be a good time to pick this up tomorrow?”

If you feel like you are “on-call” and unable to leave the room because the interviewer or supervisor keeps messaging, has not outlined a time slot for you to talk in, won’t seem to let you go, or shows no indication of stopping, that is a really bad sign. Either the company is legitimate and TERRIBLE at professionalism (a great sign you should run anyway), or this is a scammer intent on getting you to follow their instructions as soon as they can.

Your interviewer ignores time zones or gets them wrong

When I was contacted about doing an interview yesterday, it was 4:30pm. I did the interview and was told I got the job. Immediately after, without asking if I was free, he began listing off instructions and things I was to expect. It wasn’t until 7:30pm that he sent me the contract and asked me to review it, sign it, and send it back that I finally asked if I could do that tomorrow. The interviewer was supposedly on the west coast and knew that I was on the east coast. He agreed by saying “Alright” and then told me to report to him “by 8am your time.”

There are 3 things about this that are weird. The first is that he demanded I show up at 8am to continue where we left off. Any professional would have asked when I’m available the next day to continue. the second is that he said “your time” instead of saying EST, as most professionals in the US would be apt to do. And, lastly, I showed up at 7:50am, ready to continue, because I’m that desperate that I’m willing to be pushed around, and he showed up at 9am on the dot. He had gotten the time wrong. Nobody who works professionally on the west coast is incapable of adding 3 hours to their time. It was a rookie mistake, or a mistake made by someone in a completely different time zone than they say they are.

When asked to verify their identity, your interviewer attempts to reassure you or refuses

When I finally was fed up and knew this must be a scam, I politely asked my interviewer to verify his identity by either showing me his US ID or by contacting me from his email or phone number listed on the official company website. He sent me a photoshopped nametag with a completely different person’s name and photo on it and said it was the company ID of the HR director. 

I have never seen a facade fall so pathetically. Why would literally any even remotely legitimate person do such a thing? It was sad, really. He deleted the message in less than a minute - no doubt to keep me from looking at it long enough to see how badly it was photoshopped - and then aggressively reassured me that the company meant me no harm and would pay for everything, etc. Any real professional would have simply sent me an email from the legitimate address, stating that they’re legitimate, and then continued on with the initiation process.

Learn from My Mistakes

I hope some of this was helpful for all of you lovely freelancers trying to find work. I thought I would know a scam when I saw one, and I did have a Bad Feeling about this whole thing, because it did feel too good to be true, but I was desperate enough that my judgement was heavily clouded, and that could happen to anyone.

Don’t ignore red flags - especially these ones. Stick up for yourself. Avoid confirmation bias. I looked things up repeatedly to confirm that the company was legitimate and that it’s normal to do things like mobile deposit a printed check and so on. Every time, I found an explanation that suited me. I even tried to cash the check. The only reason it didn’t work was because there was an error with the name on the check because I recently legally changed my name and PayPal was having some kind of issue updating in some areas of its website. It was after that that I realized this was all crashing down and I needed to reassess it all. Don’t let yourself get that deep into it.

[saiilorstars]

Dare To Forget Me

Ch. 31: Impeccable Timing

Previous chapters // Montserrat's masterlist

Fandom: SVU // Pairing:  Rafael Barba x OFC

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

Taglist: @ocfairygodmother @anotherunreadblog @maaaaarveeeeel​ @stareyedplanet @perfectlystiles @averyhotchner [If you’d like to be added to this specific OC’s stories/edits, send me a message!]

~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ` 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~

Chapter Summary: Once again, Montserrat and Rafael find themselves in the situation that has almost become a 'tale as old time' and this may be the last time Montserrat puts herself out there again. It's all in the timing.

Montserrat sat on a metal table with her brother on the opposite side. She felt terrible for bringing the bad news, even more bad news than what he already had. "I'm so sorry, Gael. I promise we're trying to figure it out-"

Gael reached for one of his sister's hands and gave her a small smile, the best he could do right now. "I know you are trying. You don't need to remind me. The bail money is excessively high. I don't want you or anyone else to waste it on me."

"We just need $5,000 more. I know we can raise it I just...I haven't figured out a way to do it," Montserrat shook her head. And it wasn't like she wasn't trying. For the past two days she'd been going over her own finances along with her father's and even Casey's but between the three there wasn't any more money they could gather. Each of them had already put up a substantial amount, including Damian's own offer...and it still wasn't enough.

"Montserrat, when's the last time you slept?" Gael's question confused Montserrat since it wasn't pertinent (in her opinion) to the situation.

"I-I don't know," shrugged the detective. "Who cares."

"I care," Gael said, and sharply too. "Because you're spreading yourself too thin. What about your job? Have you gone back already?"

"I'm on an indefinite leave," Montserrat said casually.

"Montserrat-"

"-I'm just meeting with Calhoun to know your situation and I'm working to get some more evidence with Damian, alright? I can sleep when you're out of jail and free of any accusations."

"Montserrat," Gael gripped Montserrat's hand, urging her to stop and listen to him even if it was for just a moment, "I really appreciate everything you're doing for me. I know you hate Calhoun-"

"-eh, it's more of a frenemy thing," Montserrat cut in but Gael went on before she could discard everything else he wanted to say.

"But you're paying her big bucks to solve my case. And then you're taking care of my girls and God knows that's not an easy job."

"Yeah, I never knew putting a four year old to sleep involved...so many things," Montserrat wanted to yawn just thinking about all the tricks she had to pull so Ivana would fall asleep. "But it's okay, because you're my brother and I know these accusations are false."

"Are they?"

Montserrat blinked at her brother. Why was he looking so serious?

"I've seen the pictures, okay? I know everything that happened and...I can't help wonder...what if it is my fault those people got hurt?"

"Shh!" Montserrat quickly went. This was a tactic she would normally love if she hated the perp but this was her brother and he was innocent. "Shut up! Anything you say here can be used against you!"

"I'm only thinking-"

"-no!" she snapped. "You know for a fact you did everything by the book. You did all the evaluations, followed every code. You know that."

"So then why did people get hurt?"

Montserrat shifted in her seat. It pained her to know that they still didn't have an answer. It was an outright mystery why that building collapsed. "I don't know, but I'm going to find out. In the meantime, just stay put and...be a bit patient with me. I'm gonna get that money to get you out of here."

"Thanks," Gael sighed. "Before you go...can I ask how my girls are doing?"

Montserrat smiled. "Ivana is fine. The thing about being 4 is that she is in an endless blissful bubble. She thinks you're just away."

"Thank you...and Juliana?" Gael shared a meaningful look with his sister. Teenagehood was already hell; he was sure he was only making it worse for his daughter right now.

"She's….uh...taking it hard," Montserrat swallowed hard. It was a bit of an understatement but she wasn't going to worry her brother more than he already was. "But we're handling it - I'm handling it."

"Handling a teenager is not an easy job and Juliana already has a temper…"

"She's going to be fine," Montserrat assured him despite not knowing it herself. "I'm going to make sure of it."

"Thank you," Gael gripped her hand again. "Really...thank you."

"What's family for?" Montserrat's smile would only last until her brother was taken away. Because as soon as she left, she handled yet another call from Juliana's school. She made a quick trip to the school and walked straight into the school's main office. She informed the first secretary she saw that she was there for Juliana and was immediately directed to her niece sitting outside the principal's office.

"Are you frikin kidding me?" she hissed at Juliana as she hurried up to the teenage ginger. "It's only noon!"

Juliana sat with her legs tightly closed and her arms crossed just as tightly against her chest. She looked like a four year old who'd gotten a scold...and she just might get one.

"What happened?" Montserrat bent down in front of her niece, letting go of the anger for a minute in hopes of getting the story from Juliana before she got it from the principal.

"I just did what I had to," Juliana curtly answered.

Montserrat tilted her head, then. "What did you do?" her voice sharpened.

Juliana did not answer.

The principal's door opened up to reveal a short, brunette woman dressed in a formal gray dress. Montserrat had come to know the woman in the past week as Principal Jannae Cams. "Miss Novak?"

"Yeah," Montserrat straightened on her feet. "Here I am...again…"

Cams turned away and led Montserrat into the office. Montserrat closed the door and inwardly sighed. She prepared herself for whatever Juliana pulled now.

"You should know, first and foremost, that we do not tolerate any type of violence in this school," Cams took her seat and left Montserrat to figure it out and take her own seat. "Which is why Juliana is suspended for the next three days."

"What?" Montserrat blinked. "What did she do?"

"Got into a fight with another of our students. Juliana was seen by at least three other students when she threw the first punch."

"My niece would never hurt anyone," Montserrat tried to say but Cams already had the story prepared and so cut her off.

"She broke the other student's nose. And when we asked Juliana about it, she admitted it. Juliana initiated the fight. She's suspended."

"I don't...I…" Montserrat drew in a deep breath to calm herself down before she too initiated a fight. "I have no idea what happened but I know for a fact that Juliana would never act like this unless she was provoked. What did the other student have to say about this?"

"That she was punched," Cams said, overly sarcastic which only fueled Montserrat's own anger. "In the nose. The family's pretty upset, as you can imagine."

"Well, I'd like to talk to this student and know what happened."

"Miss Novak, I understand that your family is currently undergoing some...problems, and I think it's affecting Juliana negatively. Perhaps you should take these 3 days of suspension as a way to talk to Juliana or, at the very least, get her some help."

Montserrat may have wanted to throw her own punch, but that wasn't like her either. She closed her eyes for a second to take another breath in. "Juliana's father, my brother, is being falsely accused so...yeah, it might be affecting Juliana but do you know what? She never fought before and even now...I know she wouldn't ever hurt someone so I'd really like to know what that other student had to say."

"I'm sorry, but that would be up to the parents."

Montserrat pushed herself up from her seat. "Fine," she practically spat before leaving the office. She grabbed Juliana by the arm on her way out of the main office, ignoring the teenager's cries to be let go until they were in the school hallway.

Classes were still in session which gave them the perfect chance to talk freely.

"I want to know what the hell happened that would lead to you breaking someone's nose!" she demanded from Juliana. "And don't you dare huff at me. What happened?"

"I already told Principal Cams that I punched Eleanor's nose!"

"Yeah, got that, what I want to know is why!?"

"Because she kept talking about my Dad like he was some criminal! She said he was a murderer and that he should rot in jail so you know what? I punched in her nose," Juliana folded her arms again, "And if I hadn't been pulled off her I would've gladly punched her again."

"Oh God Juliana," Montserrat pinched the bridge of her nose. Yeah, she should've seen this coming. "She was riling you up-"

"-of course she was! I'm not stupid!"

"No, but you were stupid enough to fall for it," Montserrat couldn't help but snap. "And now you've been suspended for 3 days. What the hell am I going to do? I just told your Dad I had things under control-"

"-you saw Dad?" Juliana's eyes widened. Her entire face lit up. "Can I see him!?"

"No! Because you're grounded!"

"What?" Juliana snorted. "You can't ground me. You're not my Mom."

"But I am your aunt and your current guardian so guess what? Grounded. And be grateful that I'm not mentioning this to your father. He's worried sick about you and Ivana."

"Well I'm worried too, but I can't do anything about it can I?" Juliana turned away, nearly letting her hair whip Montserrat's face. "I can't even see him!"

Montserrat had to pray that Juliana would see some light and be patient, otherwise there would be another type of hell coming for them.

~ 0 ~

As soon as Montserrat had gotten Juliana back home, the teenager locked herself in Montserrat's bedroom. She and Ivana had been staying there while Montserrat took the couch. But even then, Montserrat couldn't dwell too much in the suspension because she had to meet up with Damian about the bail money. Once more, they went through each other's finances, Casey's and Montserrat's father but they were still coming up short.

"Woah, what happened to my kitchen?" Kara's voice pulled the two from work to see her and Sonny walking into the apartment.

"We're just trying to figure it out again," Montserrat groaned and crumpled up an old bank statement in her hand.

"You guys are still short?" Sonny came over to see the handful of papers around Montserrat's immediate area.

"Yeah, the same 5 grand and no matter how we look at things...it doesn't add up."

"I told you guys I could put up 2 grand," Kara offered but Montserrat shook her head. "No. You need that for your salon's expenses."

"You're putting up your entire life saving's, girl," Kara countered but Montserrat still wouldn't give in.

"I'm sure, with a couple more days, we can figure it out," Damian said.

"I don't want Gael to spend another day in there," Montserrat sighed. "There's enough problems already and if I can get Gael out...that would really be nice. I just picked up Juliana because she's been suspended for 3 days."

"What happened?" frowned Sonny. The girl seemed like such a sweetheart.

"She punched a girl and broke her nose."

"Ha," Kara smirked. "Been there, done that."

"Yeah," Damian scowled at her and brought a finger to his nose as if it were still broken. "Watch out, Sonny."

The detective in question threw a concerned look at Kara.

"Juliana's getting picked on because of what's going on with Gael," Montserrat brought them back to the story. "So if I can get him out then at least he can be here to help them because obviously I'm not doing a good job."

"Hey, you're doing what you can," Damian got up from his chair and moved to Montserrat's side.

"Dad has Ivana right now because I couldn't pick her up on time from school," Montserrat brought her hands to her face. "I'm crashing here."

Damian gently pulled her hands from her face and squeezed them in his. "You're doing good. Why don't you get some rest? I can take things from here."

"Are you kidding? I can't go to sleep right now-"

But Damian pulled her right up, bringing them just a bit too close that had Sonny eyeing them. "I can take it for a couple hours. Get some rest."

"Yeah, he's right," Kara stepped forwards. "Take my room and if Juliana comes out we'll make sure she doesn't get into more trouble."

"I...I guess…" Montserrat gave the two siblings a soft smile. "Thanks. Really." She gave each a hug though it seemed to linger a bit more with Damian.

Once more, Sonny noticed it and had to hide his frown.

But before Montserrat would leave, she turned to her partner. "I've been meaning to ask, how's Nick?"

"He's good," Sonny answered her with a small smile. "The charges got dropped, actually. And, Olivia's acting commander again."

"What? What happened to Declan?"

"Some undercover mission, I don't know. But Liv's back in charge. And we're all waiting for you to come back."

"Believe me, I really want nothing but this nightmare to end too," Montserrat gave him a quick hug before leaving for a nap.

Kara waited to speak until Montserrat closed the door to her room. "Okay, now that it's just us...how bad is it?"

Damian threw a weary look at the papers left on the table. "We've gone through it dozens of times and...we are just out of money. Not to mention the fact Montserrat's solely paying Calhoun. She can't put up her entire savings for this."

"So what can we do?"

"Any of you guys got 5 grand just lying around?"

"I wish," Kara sighed. "My 2 grand still stands."

"You need that, though," Sonny reminded her. He'd love to help out but he was stuck with bills as well. Plus, he had a feeling Montserrat wouldn't he accepting his money anytime soon.

"We'll come up with something," Damian insisted. "But for right now I'm gonna head back to work. I know I told Montserrat that I would stay here and focus on the bail money but I think I would be a little bit more useful if I tried to find more evidence to help the case. Bail money becomes useless if the defendant is no longer a defendant but a convict."

"Yeah," Sonny nodded. He had mixed feelings about the guy but at least he knew Damian's heart was in the right place. "I need to head back to work too," he told Kara.

"Thanks for having lunch with me," Kara gave him a hug and a kiss before sending him off. Of course no one told her that she would be left to pick up all the papers from her kitchen table and floor.

~0~

"So she's not coming back anytime soon, then?" Olivia was disappointed, yet understood, to hear Sonny's relay of Montserrat's situation.

The detective stood in the middle of the bullpen's desks. He'd come in a few minutes before they were to discuss a new case potentially going to trial. They were only waiting for Rafael to get there.

"Nah, she's got way too much on her plate," Sonny said. "Juliana just got suspended for 3 days."

"What she do?" Amanda asked, looking just as surprised as Sonny had when he initially heard the news.

"Broke another student's nose."

"Teenagers," Fin said as of that was a reasonable explanation for anything.

"Those faces worry me," Rafael said as he came in. "Did the case go south already?"

"Everything's still intact," Olivia eased his worries. "We were only talking about Montserrat's troubles."

"Right," Rafael did a poor job looking casual. Truth was he hadn't heard from Montserrat in days and he didn't have the courage to call her. If she hadn't reached out to any of them, it was because she was too busy. He just had to learn how to control himself. "How...is she doing?"

Olivia gestured to Sonny since he had all the information. The detective shook his head. "Not so good. Way too many problems for one person to handle."

"Is no one helping her?" there was a sharp tone to Rafael's words that Sonny, and pretty much everyone else noticed.

"Well, yeah, but...it's a lot. Right now Montserrat's just focused on that bail money."

"She still hasn't collected it?"

"$5000 short."

"Oh…" Rafael let a moment of silence pass by before he moved the group onto business, but it didn't mean he'd forget what Sonny told him. And much less that it would stop bothering him.

When he was to leave, he managed to pull Sonny aside while everyone went onto their assigned tasks.

"Exactly how much does Montserrat need?" he asked very quietly once they were out in the hallway.

"About $5000 but listen, councilor, I know where you're getting at and believe me I've thought of doing the same thing," Sonny admitted in the same hushed tone Rafael used. "But I think we both know Montserrat would kill us if we tried giving her the money. Kara already tried doing the same and she got the same answer."

"That's insane. She needs help and we can give it to her." But even as Rafael said it, he knew there was no way Montserrat would take his money. She was too proud. Plus, if roles were reversed he wouldn't take money from her either.

But the thing was…

He didn't care.

He needed to help her and he had the means.

So he'd take the chance and be smart about it.

~0~

"Kara, I'm going out," Juliana was adamant despite having the blonde woman standing in front of the apartment door.

"No, you're not. Your aunt said you were grounded!"

"And I said that I wasn't!"

Kara blinked. She couldn't get how the hell Juliana turned into some temper-tantrum teenager - well, she had an idea but it still wasn't cool. "Your aunt is resting and you really need to let her. She has been spreading herself thin just to make sure you and your sister are okay."

"Well I'm not okay!" Juliana snapped. "Because my Dad isn't here! He's being accused of murder, haven't you heard?"

With a sigh, Kara leaned away from the door and walked up to the girl. "And your aunt is working so hard to prove he's innocent. Now you have to do your part and be a good listener."

Juliana scoffed and practically pushed past Kara to get to the door. Kara called for her to stop but of course Juliana never even looked back. She only slammed the door shut behind her. With a groan, Kara hurried to the door and opened it, only to bump into Rafael instead.

"I'm curious, do you or Montserrat ever just say a normal 'hello'?" he rubbed his nose with a common frown on his face.

"Sorry," Kara rubbed her own face. "You didn't happen to catch Juliana out there, did you?"

"Yeah, she looked mad as hell."

"She is." Kara sighed and let her hand drop to her side. "What are you doing here, anyways? If you came for Montserrat, good luck. She's finally getting some sleep and I doubt she'll be waking up anytime soon."

"I actually came to speak with you," Rafael admitted, reasonably surprising her since they hardly crossed words.

"Me? What for?"

"About Montserrat. Are you sure she's asleep?"

Kara nodded and motioned him to come in. "She hasn't slept in days. Trust me. She didn't wake up with Juliana's screams, so...we're good."

"Good," Rafael drew in a breath, letting Kara notice that he was nervous. That was novelty.

"What's going on?" she finally asked.

Rafael decided to just come out with it. He always blurted things out anyways. "Sonny told me that Montserrat was having trouble collecting the last of the bail money for Gael."

Kara sighed. "Yeah. She's going crazy."

"Alright, well...I want to help her with it. But I also know that…"

"Montserrat's too damn proud to take money from any of us?" Kara smiled sarcastically. "Yeah. I know her oh-so-well. And because I know her that well, I know that she won't take any money from you." Especially you, she thought.

"I know," sighed Rafael. He thought about it long and hard all day until he came up with an idea that could would work. "Which is why I'm giving you the money."

"Me!?" Kara blinked with wide eyes.

"Yeah, because she'll take the money if she thinks it's coming from you."

"No, that won't work," Kara shook her head. "I tried giving her 2 grand and she rejected it."

"Because she thought it was money that usually goes into your business. So just tell her that it's from somewhere else."

"I don't know…" Kara didn't feel right lying to Montserrat, but she also knew that maybe she'd be the only one who could actually get Montserrat to accept money from him.

Rafael reached for something inside his coat's pocket and pulled out an envelope. "It's the 5 grand."

"You walked the streets with 5 grand in your pocket!?" Kara exclaimed.

Rafael rolled his eyes. "Focus please. Take the money and make Montserrat use it."

"But she'll think it's from me and...that won't be right."

"That's the point. She'll never take money from me and I really want to help her, so…" Rafael motioned Kara to take the envelope.

Kara studied his face and realized, very quickly, that there was a desperate urge to help. She could identify with that because if Sonny was in dire need of money, she would want to help him by any means possible...and she would do whatever it took to help him. For that, she accepted the envelope. "I'll make sure she takes it," she promised for his concern.

There was an instant relief in Rafael's face. "Thank you. Really."

"You're welcome," Kara went to leave the envelope on the coffee table. She wanted to hand it to Montserrat first thing when the latter woke up.

"Thanks," Rafael headed for the door since he'd finished business, but at the last moment he turned back. "How...is she? For real?"

Kara could appreciate his attempt to be casual and discreet, but his feelings were visible from a mile away no matter what he did. "She's….she could be better. Her brother's being falsely accused of murder, so...you can understand that...it's difficult."

Rafael nodded silently.

"But I know that your help will definitely do her some good," Kara added in hopes of helping him as well.

"Wish I could do more," he blurted.

"You could," Kara wasn't afraid, like most people, to say things how they were. "But that's all up to you."

Rafael pointed at her as if he was going to say something, but in the end he opened the door and left.

"Nobody escapes Kara Mackie," Kara proudly said.

~ 0 ~

It was evening when Montserrat finally woke up, but even when she did she still felt rather tired. She emerged from Kara's bedroom to a quiet apartment. Kara was busy watching television but quickly paused the screen when she saw Montserrat.

"Hey!" she swallowed down the last of her popcorn before sitting up.

"Ivana isn't here, is she?" Montserrat assumed first. A four year old would never be this quiet.

"Uh, no. Your dad's keeping her tonight."

"And Juliana?"

Kara bit her lower lip. Yeah, she'd been debating how to go about that part. "Umm...she's...sort of...out…"

"Out?" Montserrat picked her phone from her back pocket and saw the time. "It's seven o'clock. Wait, she's not supposed to be out! She's grounded."

"Yeah that...sort of didn't take," Kara apologized with a small smile before bursting into a fit of rambles. "I'm so sorry! I tried to stop her but I really forgot what it's like being a teenager! She didn't listen - she was so mad!"

"Kara, it's alright," Montserrat sighed and sat down next to her. "I know Juliana's sort of...in a funk right now."

"But don't worry, I got your friend - Claire Wilson? She's with Juliana and she's keeping me updated in case they get into trouble."

"Well thanks," Montserrat leaned back against the couch. "But it still leaves so many other problems." She rubbed her hands over her face and groaned. Maybe she should just go back to sleep.

"Listen," Kara grabbed the remote control again and shut the television off, "I was...doing some digging through my own finances and…"

"Oh, Kara, no…" Montserrat presumed where her friend was headed. She watched Kara reach for an envelope on the table.

"I got the money, Montse," Kara put on her best smile, a hopeful one at that. "All $5000 of it. It's right here." She held the envelope to Montserrat but, as expected, Montserrat wouldn't take it.

"I can't do that. Where'd you even get the money from, you didn't have it before."

"I, uh, dug for it," shrugged Kara. She pushed the envelope to Montserrat's chest, but the ginger shook her head.

"Absolutely not. I can't take it."

"Oh!" Kara groaned. "And why not? You took it from Damian-"

"-because he's Gael's friend! You're my best friend and I know that you need this money!"

"Trust me, I really don't," Kara waved the envelope in front of Montserrat's face. "What I need is for you to take it."

"I can't do it, I'm sorry."

"Montserrat, stop being stupid. You need it - Gael needs it!"

"Gael needs me to figure it out," snapped Montserrat. "He doesn't need me taking money from other people."

"I'm not 'people', I'm family. And you know what? It's not even the reason you should take the money. You should take it because…" Kara licked her lips nervously, "...because the person who came up with this money really wants to help you." Her voice softened when she added, "He really does."

Of course that earned Kara a puzzled look from Montserrat. "What?" the ginger asked.

Kara sighed. "He's going to kill me," she concluded in a whisper, but she figured if she was killed because she tried helping her best friend it would be a worthy death.

"What the hell?" Montserrat wearily said as she dreaded what Kara was up to.

Kara drew in a deep breath as she shifted to face Montserrat. "Okay, so, that money...I'm not supposed to say, but...it's not mine."

"What, did you steal it?"

"No, Sonny would kill me, first of all. Someone gave me that money-"

"-Kara, please tell me that's not dirty money."

"Oh my God, would you just let me talk!?"

Montserrat pursed her lips together then motioned Kara to go on. "Look, I'm telling you this because I think it's only fair that you recognize the intent. I didn't come up with the money - hell, it's not even my money. Rafael stopped by this afternoon."

"...don't tell me," Montserrat narrowed her eyes on Kara, almost making the latter gulp on the spot.

"He wanted to give you the money himself but he knew you wouldn't take it-"

"-damn right I wouldn't!" Montserrat practically threw the envelope to Kara's face. "How could you accept that money!?"

"Uh, because you need it? And because Rafael was pretty insistent that you take it."

"Rule number 1 when it comes to Rafael: never listen to him!"

"I can see where most of your problems come from."

"It's not funny, Kara!" Montserrat was furious. She jumped from her seat and turned to glare at Kara. "I would never take money from him. So I'm going to give that back to him right now!"

"No you are not!" Kara hugged the envelope to her chest.

"Yes, I am!"

"Give me one good reason why you shouldn't take the money?"

"Because...because…" Montserrat shifted on her feet, the frustration getting to her as she came up with no good answer.

"Aha," Kara tilted her head. "See? You should take the money and use it to get Gael out of that hellhole."

"But I can't!" Montserrat threw her hands in the air. "It doesn't feel right!"

Kara shook her head. "Montserrat, quit being so proud and just accept the help." She patted the open spot next to her and called it a win when Montserrat actually sat down again. "Don't be stupid and please don't be proud. Rafael came with the most honest intentions and he specifically asked me not to say anything. He didn't want you to know that the money was from him."

"Well you sure screwed that up, huh?" Montserrat gently jabbed Kara on her side.

"Yeeeeah. Please keep me safe, he scares me a bit."

Montserrat laughed. "Oh c'mon."

"No, I'm serious! He's nice and all but he's scary," Kara's face only made Montserrat laugh harder. "I don't know how you do it."

"Cos he's not scary," Montserrat sobered slowly despite hearing Kara's continuous accusations of the opposite.

"Alright, so...will you take the money?"

Montserrat looked down at the envelope between them, looking unsure. "I don't...I don't know. I feel like I should just return it."

"Montse, I know I tease you and all but, being serious...he really did look worried and he was just doing what he thought was best. And he asked about you - how you were doing? C'mon," Kara now bumped shoulders with Montserrat. "Don't tell me it doesn't make your heart beat just an itty-bitty-" Kara raised her hand with an index finger just above her thumb to show the amount, "-tiny bit faster?"

Montserrat shook her head but said nothing. She wasn't going to give Kara any reason to actually tease again. "I'm over it. I'm over him. I said that a long time ago-"

"Regardless, before you take that money back...just think about it for a bit. Maybe just...consider it." Kara gave Montserrat a quick side-hug before getting up to leave.

Montserrat brought a hand to her curls as she once again looked down at the envelope. It was so stupid. There laid the solution to one of her problems and she was being too proud to take it. "Goddammit," she sighed and got up from the couch.

~ 0 ~

"Sonny?"

The last thing the detective in question thought he'd see in the D.A's building was his partner who was meant to be taking a leave from SVU. Sonny turned back in the hallway to see Montserrat coming into the building in a rush. She was bundled up in a beige-colored coat.

"Montserrat what are you doing here?" Sonny checked his watch for the time and raised his eyebrows when he realized it was a bit late for her. "It's ten o'clock."

Montserrat shrugged but her pursed lips and a gaze that couldn't seem to look him in the eyes indicated something else was at play. "I just...needed to talk to someone."

"Casey?" Sonny jerked a thumb over his shoulder.

"No, well, no…" Montserrat sighed. She would have to be a little more truthful. "I need to speak with Rafael. Is that where you were headed?"

"Yeah, uh, Liv's got me on a case and…" Sonny got the feeling she wasn't really paying attention to him. Her eyes kept flickering in the direction of Rafael's office. "Montse? Are you okay?"

Montserrat licked her lips and exhaled. "Look, Sonny, can you just give me like...5 minutes with Rafael? And then you can go in and talk about your case."

"O...kay…" Sonny looked her over and noticed she was a bit shifty. "Are you sure you're okay? Did something happen? Is there anything I can do to help you-"

Montserrat raised a hand to stop him talking. "Just give me those 5 minutes I'm asking for and we're good."

"Al-alright, go ahead," Sonny stepped aside and gestured for her to go. She gave him a grateful smile and went on her way.

In his office, Rafael was doing what he normally did each night. On one side he had the usual stack of papers and on the other side, he had the trusty glass of alcohol. He heard a noise - footsteps - outside but before he even thought of looking up, they spoke up.

"You paid my brother's bail money."

Rafael shut his eyes as if hoping this was just a hallucination. Maybe he'd finally had too much to drink. But when he opened his eyes and looked up, he saw Montserrat by the door. "Dammit," he muttered. He put his pen down and stood up. "I honestly thought Kara might manage to keep it a secret," he admitted as he moved around the desk. He had to make a compelling argument now before she killed him. Luckily, this was what he did for a living. "I know you're mad but I know you needed the money. And before you throw it at my face-"

Montserrat rolled her eyes and strode up to hug him, surprising the hell out of him. He was frozen in his spot, arms to his sides as he debated if this was real or not. Montserrat couldn't care less how he reacted or how she should react. She'd thought long and hard about what she'd say or do when she saw him and this was the only thing she felt was right. So, that's why she wrapped her arms around his neck and let that need finally be quenched.

"I'm...very confused here." It pained Rafael to admit it but he just couldn't understand why she was hugging him and not screaming at him.

Montserrat pulled away but never let go of him. "I can't be mad at you. Not when you gave away $5000 from your own pocket."

"...so you're keeping the money?"

"Well, I did think about giving it back to you but...I need to swallow my pride and use it to get Gael out. But I am going to pay you back, every last cent."

Rafael rolled his eyes at her. "Don't worry about that-"

"-but I am because it's the only way I'll truly feel okay with this."

There was no way he was going to get through to her but he didn't want to argue with her. He gave in with a nod and it definitely got a smile from her.

"Thank you so much," she said and hugged him again.

This time, he hugged her back. He held her tight as if she were going to disappear in the next second. He never really noticed how easily she seemed to fit between his arms; like she belonged right there with him.

Every time, he thought. Every time he had Montserrat that close to him he remembered how much he needed her with him. All those previous thoughts that they couldn't be that close were dismissed, forgotten, pushed away. He couldn't be that careless, not when it came to her.

Montserrat pulled away only slightly. She seemed more nervous than before, her eyes even seemed like they were struggling to look up at him. "Hey, um...I know what you said before...I know that we agreed…" she couldn't find the right words to express her feelings, no matter how much she tried. Screw it.

She kissed him. And there went his caution...again. His arms instinctively tightened around her waist, keeping her firmly pressed against him. She had the sweetest lips - even though they often threw some insults at him - and he wanted nothing more than to kiss her forever.

But he needed to remember what he was trying to do for her. He was only able to regain some type of control when he pulled away. "Montse, we can't," he whispered, but the mere fact he'd said a nickname he hardly every used was proof enough that he wasn't entirely convinced with his words. Because he really wasn't.

"Please don't say that again," she begged. She had her eyes closed and maybe it was for the better. She could feel his nose nuzzling her cheek. "I told myself before deciding to come here that I was over you and everything, but...I'm not. I'm really, really not. And I dare say that you aren't either...right?"

Rafael drew away to look in her shiny brown eyes. He tilted his head slightly, a soft smile spreading across his face. "I never said that I was."

~ 0 ~

Out in the hallway, Sonny stayed behind just like Montserrat had asked him to. He was checking his phone for an update from Liv when he heard footsteps nearing him. He looked up to see a familiar woman coming. It took two seconds flat to recognize Yelina.

Oh crap. For some reason, Sonny didn't want to let her in...or at the very least, he thought she shouldn't go into Rafael's office until Montserrat gave him the 'ok'.

"H-hi!" he practically jumped in front of Yelina without a clue of what he was going to say or do.

"Hello?" she gave him an odd, yet reasonable, look. "Do I know you?"

"Um...I'm...a friend…" Sonny said, pretty much making it up as he went along.

"Not my friend," Yelina was quick to say. "And I'm sorry but I have somewhere I need to get to." She tried moving around but Sonny quickly followed in suit to block her way.

"I'm sorry ma'am but Mr. Barba's a bit busy right now!"

Yelina tilted her head at him. "How do you know I'm here to see Rafael?"

You didn't think this through, Sonny inwardly sighed.

~ 0 ~

"It's hard, Montserrat but it's the truth. It's better if we don't do anything. I'm not good," Rafael wanted to sound as convincing as possible but he wasn't doing it right. He could've started by letting Montserrat go but his arms seemed to be on another plan.

"You say all these things like you're no good for me or that I may crash down because of you but guess what?" Montserrat's eyes became even more tearful, some of them threatening to spill from the corners of her eyes. "I'm not with you and I'm still crashing. There's no one to help me pick up the pieces."

Rafael's heart broke at her frail voice. She wasn't falling apart, but she certainly wasn't in her best state.

~ 0 ~

"Ah, so you were one of the detectives who helped put my husband on trial," Yelina's face went sour as she finally recognized Sonny. "That's nice, but...I need to go see my friend."

Once more, Sonny took the same step with her. He held his hands up just as she was becoming irritated with him. "I'm really sorry but he's with someone important right now."

Yelina raised an eyebrow at him. She had a sharp look that gave Sonny chills. "Business?" she asked.

"Uuh…not...really." Truth was that Sonny wasn't sure what was the nature of Montserrat's visit but whatever the answer was, he was sure it wouldn't please Yelina.

"Well, business or not Rafael has some explaining to do," Yelina straightened up, expression more fierce than ever. "Thinks he can blow me off without repercussions? I don't think so." She moved around Sonny and threatened him with a glare not to try getting in her way.

"Dammit," the detective muttered with a hand on his forehead. He quickly pulled out his phone but he wasn't sure who to text: Montserrat or Rafael?

~ 0 ~

"Montserrat, I'm only trying to do what's best for you," Rafael insisted but she humorlessly laughed.

"Do I look okay to you? I'm not. And I thought, that maybe - just maybe - we could finally work something out," Montserrat let go of him but she stayed as close to him as they were when they hugged. "I'm tired of pretending, tired of denying things...aren't you?"

Rafael would love to say 'yes' but that would go against the point he was trying to make. "I do care for you. It's just…"

Montserrat gently put her hands on both sides of his face. "No more long speeches, just tell me the truth."

"Truth?"

"The truth about why you don't want to be with me. Because all these speeches just sound...like speeches. Like something you rehearse for your job. I'm not a jury you have to convince. I just want you to be honest here."

"You want honesty? Fine," Rafael sighed. He couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't keep lying to himself and much less Montserrat. The truth was right in the fact that she made him lose control with just one kiss. He had his thoughts organized when it came to this subject. He had plans to keep himself away from Montserrat but then she comes right in and makes those thoughts and ideas disappear. There was no point in trying to build plans when it didn't matter in the end. He would just have to face it, face her. She got him.

"Not business," they heard from the doorway. Yelina looked a bit...fascinated by what she saw. "Definitely not."

Montserrat withdrew her hands. The expression on her face indicated an expectancy of answers because Yelina's presence made zero sense to her.

"Well, I can assume this is why you rudely left lunch early on Monday."

"Monday…?" Montserrat repeated just before it hit her. "Gael's arraignment." She laid eyes on Rafael again with a growing anger. "You were late." He was supposed to be on time, to be there with her when Gael was taken out for arraignment...and he'd almost missed it. Because he was having lunch with her.

"Yes, but I…" He really didn't have a good explanation for that one since Yelina basically beat him to it. But she said it all wrong and now he was screwed.

Montserrat exhaled as the weight of regret began hitting her. She stepped away from him. "I get it now."

"I don't think you do," Rafael said, sounding almost afraid of the conclusion she'd come to. He tried reaching for her arm but she yanked it away.

"There's the truth," she spat.

"It's not that, I swear-" he made the mistake of attempting to touch her again.

"Don't touch me!" she hissed and pushed his hands away from her. The humorless laugh that came next did not bode well. "And here I thought…" she laughed again then shook her head. "Forget it. I get it now. So sorry-" she gestured to both Rafael and Yelina, "-I got in the way. You won't have to worry about me again."

"Montserrat," Rafael called but she was storming out before he could even finish her name. There he went again screwing things up.

~ 0 ~

Sonny caught Montserrat coming out into the hallway a sprint, almost running really. "Montse! Hey!" he barely caught her arm but even then she wrestled to get free from his hands. "Montserrat, it's me!"

"I know! Let me go!"

Sonny only did so because he didn't want her yelling in the middle of the hallway. "Montserrat, what's happened?" She was in tears and he could only assume why. "Hey," his voice softened, "It's because of that woman, huh? I'm sorry. I tried to stop her-"

Montserrat laughed through her tears. "Sonny, you are the least person at fault here. This whole thing is just a mess - it was a mess from the start and you know what? I am so tired of it."

"Montse…"

"And I know that I've said this many times before but this time I really mean it: I hate—" Montserrat's voice truly snapped while she pointed at nothing in particular, "—Rafael so much. I wish I never met him."

"Montserrat, I don't think you mean it—"

"Try me, Dominick!" she frantically snapped. Her hands reached behind her neck and in two seconds she had taken off the ballerina necklace Rafael gave her and chucked it at Sonny. With such speed she used, he scrambled to catch it before it would hit his face. "I mean it with every fiber of my being. I hate him!" she turned away and left in a storm.

Sonny sighed deeply. He felt like he should at least drive her home or make sure she got home safely in whatever she came in...but he wasn't stupid to believe that she would let him or anyone else near her right now. So, that just left the other side of the party.

~ 0 ~

"So I guess now I know why you cut lunch short," Yelina made it in three steps before Rafael ordered her to leave.

"You and I are done," he spat and pointed at the open door.

"I didn't do this," Yelina said what she assumed he was thinking. "You did. You always had a tendency to know better and it always backfired."

"Get out!" he shouted at her. "I don't understand what the hell you wanted from me since the beginning! And frankly, if I was even a little bit curious now I'm not! Because you just cost me the one good thing I had in my life!"

"It didn't look like that to me," Yelina cautiously approached the desk Rafael was retreating behind. "She was already upset before I walked in. I was just the tip of the iceberg."

Rafael rubbed his face in exasperation then slammed them down on the desk. "What—" his voice had sharpened, "—do you want from me? Just tell me so you can finally leave me the hell alone. What is it? Money? A hand in Alex's trial? A job? Just tell me!"

But to his mighty frustration, Yelina said nothing. She only tilted her head and studied him. His darkened expression, his narrowed eyes, his heavy breathing. He was outright furious, perhaps the most furious she'd ever seen him...and she'd known him for a very long time. "Oh my God, that detective's responsible for this?" she pointed him up and down. "That tiny thing has got you...so wrapped around her finger."

Rafael gripped the edges of his desk because otherwise, he might have actually thrown her out of the office.

With a sigh, Yelina leaned forwards on the desk but the mere action made him straighten away from the desk. "Truthfully, I don't want anything. I didn't mean to cause you harm. In fact...up until last week, I had no intention of seeing you. I thought I had made a fool out of myself plenty the last time we saw each other. I certainly had no intention of causing this...problem with that woman. She seemed nice the last time I met her. Not quite your taste but that's beside the point."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"The truth is, Rafael, you need to watch your back...as does that detective." Yelina looked around as if someone were going to eavesdrop on them. "Someone paid me good money to come see you. Don't ask me who, because I don't know. I just got a request with the promise of a decent amount that could help me and my girls get the hell out of this city."

"What do you...what do you mean? Are you joking?"

"No," Yelina shook her head. "Why else do you think I had no answer when you asked me what I wanted from you? I mean, yes, it was nice to see you but...I had no face to ask anything from you. Someone wanted me to come and see you, make sure to cause some problems with you and Detective Novak."

Rafael wanted to call her a liar, but if there was something about her was that she was no liar. And she didn't appear to be one right now. "Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because...I was not a good person to you, during the investigation and before...I blamed you for many things when the truth was I had a fair share of the fault. You and I...we didn't work. We just didn't. I wanted more. But I gambled and lost with Alex and now I have no right to take that chance away from you nor Detective Novak. I'm really sorry. And if you want, I could try to talk with her—"

"You will stay away from her," Rafael warned, leaving no room for arguments. "I don't want you near Montserrat, do you understand? If everything you just said is true—"

"It is—"

"Then you need to leave. Leave me alone, leave Montserrat alone and just go. I don't want to see you again."

"That's fair," Yelina nodded her head. "But I am taking the money because I need it. My girls need it."

"Sure," Rafael couldn't care less. He didn't wish her any harm but he certainly didn't care what happened in her life.

"Goodbye Rafael. Take care," she said then turned to leave. Only a few seconds after she was gone, Rafael received a visit from Sonny.

"Goddammit," he muttered. What more could this night throw him?

"Yeah, I know, not a place I expected to be," Sonny sighed. "I just came for the warrants you promised Liv. I didn't expect to be right at the center of all...this…"

"I will send them, get out," Rafael returned to his seat.

"Don't do that."

"I'm not doing anything. I have a lot of work to do so please get out." And maybe a lot of drinking too. Who knew.

Sonny drew in a deep breath, mumbling an 'oh boy' before he started off with what could either be his death sentence or the solution to Rafael's problems. "Listen, I'm not speaking to you as a co-worker, I am going to speak to you as a friend because right now you need one. What the hell are you doing, Rafael?"

Rafael could honestly say that he had no idea. "It wasn't like I planned it," he said as a means of defense.

"No, because that would be incredibly stupid," Sonny's flat tone wasn't appreciated in the least. "Can I just ask, in all seriousness...why?" Rafael gave him a confused look. "Help me understand because as much as we both hate it, the reality is I know everything. Literally. Why make all this trouble if you actually do like Montserrat? I don't get it."

Well it was bad enough Sonny knew everything, but now Rafael would have to explain himself? Again? He rolled his eyes. "I'm not doing this, Carisi. You can go."

"No," the detective flatly refused. "Because each time you screw up more than the last time and you should know that this time...you royally screwed up. Montserrat despises you."

"I didn't plan this - I actually had a very different plan in mind...but Yelina cut me off. She has terrible timing. And now Montserrat hates me."

"Yeah she does."

Rafael paused to glare at Sonny. "Aren't you supposed to be helping here or did I misread the conversation?"

Sonny rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright. Truth is, if Kara told me she hated me I'd lose my mind. I need her just as I'm sure you need Montserrat."

"Let's not go confusing things." This time, Rafael's arguments wouldn't win against the detective.

"I'm not. Because it's not a question of 'want' anymore, you have a 'need'."

"What?"

Sonny took a seat down as he began to explain. "Look, I don't 'want' to see Kara. I need to see Kara. Every day. I don't want to spend time with her, I need to. It's a need that I can't push away because...because I love Kara. The 'want' fades away fairly quick but the 'need'...that doesn't go away. That's what you have with Montserrat now. You need her."

Rafael didn't like that Sonny actually thought he knew what he wanted - needed. It was ridiculous...wasn't it? She makes you throw your plans away, he reminded himself. You have no control when she's around.

Sonny watched the internal struggle for a few minutes before he took pity and further explained. "You remember those times where you asked me to find Montserrat? Because you wanted to see her? Well, you didn't want to see her. You needed to see her. You needed to make sure she was okay. And right now, do you want to see Montserrat? Or do you need to go and make sure she's alright?"

Well, the answer was evident, wasn't it?

"And listen, I wasn't going to say anything because it's, well, childish but...you should know that you're not the only one who has eyes on Montserrat."

Now that piece of information was surprising. Rafael tilted his head, for a second almost accusing Sonny.

"Don't get any ideas, councilor. I meant someone else. Uh, Damian." Sonny knew that alone was shocking but it did feel good to finally tell someone the secret that'd been gnawing at his mind.

"What?" frowned Rafael. "He wouldn't—"

"-oh but he would. You know that Kate Spade watch Montserrat proudly wears? Damian got it for her. He knows that's her favorite store. He likes her and if you continue to act like this, you're going to push her straight to him. Is that what you want? Is it really what you want?"

"Well of course not," Rafael found himself blurting. He shifted in his seat after realizing how fast that'd come out. "I already told you that I did plan on telling her. I was seconds away when Yelina made her...presence known."

"Well that's good," Sonny nodded. "Because we have a lot of work to do here." He reached for something in his pocket then put it down on the desk, revealing the ballerina necklace Montserrat had practically thrown at him. "If there's one thing I've figured out about women is that you can't outsmart them. But maybe two of us can and we can get you five minutes with her. Your fast mouth might just save you."

Rafael smiles for the first time. "With any luck."

[tipsydipsydo]

Improvisation 💻 [M]

Pairing: Sub! Jin x soft Top! Reader

Gender of the Reader: male

Word Count: 5.7k

Warnings: very in detail descripted/graphic sexual content(!); filthy language; swearing; soft Sub-/Dom-Themes (➙ shy but needy and also teasy Jinnie; the Reader is sometimes not the most assertive Dom, Jin's charm kills him 24/7); Cam/Videocall-Sex; Mastubation; Anal Play; Sextoys; Dirty Talk; Praising; light Edging; Mentions of Nudes and Sexting; Mentions of Unprotected Sex (pls stay safe!)

Summary: This wasn't planned. Well, the whole world didn't planned to deal with a damn pandemic in 2020! If everything would have gone "normally", you would be in Seoul with Jin right in this moment and just enjoy that you're finally able to be close to Jin again. But now you two are stucked at home, Jin in his dorm in Seoul and you in your apartement in your town, far away from him. So you have to improvise for now on, how you want to deal with longing emotions and urging sexual desires...

[Links]

My Masterlist for your requests!

My official Masterlist!

『Disclaimer: This fanfiction should not trivialize or romanticize the actual situation! This pandemic itself is worse enough. The reasons why I wrote a fanfic about this very difficult and sensitive topic can be found in my Authors Note down below.』

Author's Note:

(Be prepared, it's gonna be a long authors note but it's important! So please read it.)

I hope you all (and your friends and family!) are okay and that you didn't get infected with the corona-virus... or at least getting through your infection in the best way possible!

Like the majoritiy of the world population, I got house detention from our government as well (Okay, I'm already two weeks at home because of school closing).

I know, some other writers already used this special situation to write some stuff for us, so we're not going completely crazy by our boredom.

And yes, I wrote something about this too, this here is my own version of all these coronavirus-quarantaine-caused writings out there ^^°.

I hope, y'all not already sick of it... I know, the "Corona-Topic" is literally everywhere and at some point, you just can't listen to anything, that is related to that theme anymore! (Even when it's really important!)

But like all writers here, I just try to "make the best out of this horrible pandemic" and help you, to get through your quarantaine in the best way.

And when you (or someone of your friends, your family or your relatives) are not in quarantaine and you/they have to go to work, because they're a doctor, a nurse, a pharmacist, a scientist, a police officer, part of the military, an employee of a supermarket/drugstore, a factory worker, a truck driver, a farmer etc, you deserve my biggest respect, really! (And to be honest from the whole world population!)

They try to fight the virus itself or their Job count to the sensitive infrastructure of your country, that's why they all try their best to keep the health care system/the minimum of infrastructure in their country going! All these peoples are amazing and they should know that!

I know, especially in this crisis just a little "thank you" can't help them. All of them need to get paid a lot better for their job and they need suitable protective clothing, masks, sanitizer and so much more. In particular these peoples that have to work directly with infected patients like doctors, paramedics or nurses. 

They need these utensils to take care of infected patients properly (especially in risk groups!) and to protect themselfs as well! That's why I appeal to you, to donate medical face-masks or sanitizer that you or your family bought in an inordinate amount in of panic buying to your local hospital.

There is nothing wrong with having one or two face masks or a bottle sanitizer at home. But you don't need 10 bottles sanitizer or 50 face masks, when you simply stay at home!

Trust me, they'll need it so much more than you. We can't fight the virus when the medical staff themself get infected. All these peoples out there risk their own health, maybe even life for us! In some countries or regions they're already completely overworked and near to a (systematic and mental) break down.

When we could help them with literally doing nothing and staying at home, then please, please, please do it!

I'm not a doctor or a nurse, but I think when everybody follow their government's rules (or in general, the instructions of the WHO) and help the health care system of their country with simply staying at home, we're able to get through this pandemic somehow.

「So in short: This following story should only be a gentle reminder to stay at your fucking home and to follow your government's rules to prevent that the virus spread even more! Okay? Thank you.」

So, now you're allowed to read. Enjoy~💚

「© tipsydipsydo」

This following story is my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!

I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!

That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.

Thank you.

You sigh and play around restlessly with the cable of the charger of your laptop, which is plugged into it and is just in front of you on the bed tray. Even when Jin and you text each other almost every free minute, you get nervous every time he takes a little longer to answer your video call.

The past few weeks have made you an emotional wreck, especially when suddenly the infections in South Korea are skyrocketed. You contacted Jin immediately and asked him, if he, the members, his family and friends were doing well.

And overall, how the situation in Korea is and with which Strategy his government is now going to deal with it.

In the following weeks the virus continued to spread. Every day new states reported their first cases, infections increased in many countries, more and more nations prescribed school closings and national quarantine for almost all citizens. With each new day, the international infrastructure and thus also the economy gradually came to a standstill. Sometimes it feels like the earth has stopped spinning around the sun.

The whole further development of the epidemic, now pandemic, is still absolutely uncertain. Too little is the knowledge about this new virus and his behaviors. No one knows when an effective vaccine will exist.

So there is nothing else you can do but hope for the best and follow the rules of your own government and the instructions of the WHO. That means self-isolation and quarantine at home indefinitely.

That was nothing you had planned... actually you wanted to be in Seoul since three days and at that very moment you would lying tightly wrapped up with Jin in his bed.

Your visit in Seoul had been planned for months, everything was already perfectly organized and arranged, Jin even got a few days off! And now? Now you both are sitting far away from each other in your bedroom and only have the opportunity to do video calls with each other. Again.

Although your vacation were already planned and your Boss agreed, it hasn't been so clear in the past few weeks anymore if you can still take your vacation days due to this current situation.

The economic situation has become increasingly difficult, especially for the international trading company you work for. In the End, the government destroyed your plans anyway by stopping air travel and the legal prohibition of entry and exit of the country.

Of course, you were incredibly angry and frustrated at first, but in retrospect you realized that it was a good decision to do that. At least to slow down the spreading.

If you had flown to Seoul, you might have been infected. Perhaps the virus can only cause you little or even no problems, but you could've negligently infected risk groups.

And, to be honest, if you would have flown to Seoul, that would be just because of pure selfishness. And you don't want to be responsible for for spreading the virus even more.

That was in general the reason, why you decided to basically stay at home for now on. You only go out for grocery shopping once a week. At least, you try  your best not to get infected and therefore not to infect anyone else. And at the same time not to die of boredom.

Although Jin currently has more time than usual, he still has to work and to practice with the other members. When they have finished their daily routine, Namjoon and Yoongi mostly continue their "quarantine" in their studios and Hoseok and Jimin stay in the dance studio a little longer. Here and there Tae and Kookie keep them company and practice their choreography a little bit more with them, before they come back to the dorm and play video games or do other things.

As usual, Jin takes over the cooking and takes the opportunity to talk to you on the phone as much as possible or to facetime with you. Of course, it's nice that you can still spend so much time together with the help of the modern technology. But it cannot replace a real visit.

They've not met each other for a too long time, for too long it has not been possible for you two to kiss, cuddle or exchange carresses with one another... For too long, you both had no sex. And that with two people who have, let's say, a very healthy sex drive. It's awful.

You had tried a few times to get sexually active with Jin in front of the screen. But it seems like it's not his thing at all. Talking a bit here and there via text message about your dirty fantasies is okay for him. And when your Jinnie is really horny, you can also encourage him with some messages to send you a dick pics or a few voice mails where he's masturbating and moan your name in such a sinful way. When you have brought him to this point, you praise him a lot and assure him, how sexy he is ans how hot it is that he sends you such pictures.

Pictures yes, videos no.

When you ask him then, if he would be comfortable with making phone calls or even video chats of this kind of "talk", Jin will backtrack.

He can't really explain it, but he doesn't feel comfortable with presenting himself completely naked in front of the camera and even doing filthy things at the same time.

But you understand what he's trying to tell you. Jin loves it intense and passionately, with an extensive foreplay and good aftercare, but "really freaky stuff" is not his world. Doing sexual things with his partner is very personal to Jin, and he's also an idol, it would be a catastrophe when a video or picture of this kind would get public.

Therefore you fully accept his limits! After all, there is nothing to complain about, sex with Jin is always wonderful and absolutely satisfying!

Only when you are separated from each other again, you hardly know how to deal with your sexual desire. Well, would you have thought that Jin has completely the same problems and your sweetheart is just a little shy, to make naugthy things in front of the camera?...

You gasp in relief when Jin finally accepts the call and greets you with an apology, that it tooks so long. The environment tells you that he is in his room. You assume that he's sitting on his bed and leaning against the wall, the laptop on his lap.

You smile at him affectionately, reassure him that he doesn't have to apologize just because his boyfriend unwillingly becomes a bit overprotective and worries too much. You know that all this is not good, but you just can't switch off worrying about your darling.

Jin smiles a little shyly at you, his cheeks are slightly reddened. You want to ask if he's really okay, but you bite yourself on the tongue quickly. The virus had been the subject of your conversation far too often. Jin can take care of himself, if there is any suspicion that he may have been infected, he will tell you. At least, Jin and BigHit Entertainment will know how to handle it.

"No, no Y/N. Don't worry, I'm just like you... You should hear how the boys talking about me. They say, that I'm overthinking way too much... But you are fine, right? And how are your Parents in your hometown, are there already the first infections?", Jin asks and looks at you with an insistent look, eyebrows knitted in concern.

This here became to a ritual, for now on you talk always the first five minutes about the current situation. No matter whether using text messages, voices mails, phone calls or videocalls. Every day you ask each other whether the infections in your both country has improved or deteriorated, how each other's friends and family are doing, and what measures South Korea and now your country are taking.

After that, your conversation mostly wanders to other topics. It's good to come up with other thoughts as well, so nobody is going completely crazy. As many politicians, doctors and virologists already said, we have no choice but to keep calm and not to panic before we start acting thoughtlessly.

You're just about to start complaining a little bit about all the work you have to do in your home-office when Jin anticipates you.

"Y-Y/N?"

You look back at the screen and see how the initial slight blush on Jin's face has intensified and spread to his ears. In addition, you've noticed a few minutes before that Jin has become a bit restless and keeps moving back and forth. As if his sitting position is uncomfortable.

"Yes? Darling, is something wrong? You seems to be so restless and that something is uncomfortable for you ...", you answer him and look at him questioningly with a concerned frown between your eyebrows. The blush on his cheeks increases a shade darker and now it has completely taken over his ears. God, if you're honest, it's so cute when he's shy and his ears turns red.

"Would you like to know why it took me so long to answer your call... there is... there is a reason for that," Jin says quietly.

In precaution, he looks at his room door again to make sure that it's really locked. Even when everyone else is not in the dorm right now, you'll never know who would opens the door of his room without expecting anything... indecent.

He takes a deep breath before he puts the laptop down on his bed, positions the screen with the camera at the right angle. You can see how Jin's prominent adam's apple starts bobbing nervously. This sight makes you involuntarily biting your lower lip and a warm shiver trickles down your back. 

Fuck, Jin's throat has always been one of your soft spots. This sight is tempting ypu to spread countless hickeys on his soft skin, want to mark him as your boyfriend. Because he's an idol, you always have to hold back with your little kink, because a dark love mark can't even cover up the best make-up really well.

But sometimes you just can't hold back or you just forgot that you should do it. Like when Jin's moaning and whimpering is so damn sexy, it makes you addicted to wanting to hear it again and again. Besides that, responds so wonderfully to your touch...

You going to be ripped out of your lewd thoughts when Jin turns with his back to you and his precious butt is now on the same level with your eyes. A completely confused expression manifests on your face. What the-

"I-I have a little surprise for you... I hope you like it...", says Jin in a trembling voice and hooks his two thumbs into the waistband of his sweatpants.

Your next breath gets stuck in your throat as your boyfriend pulls his sweats and boxer briefs at the same time down.

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Your lips open, you want to say something, but no sound comes out of your mouth. You're absolutely speechless. Your sweet, innocent Jin...

Between his perfectly round buttcheeks is a metal buttplug, gemmed with a beautiful turquoise-blue jewel. You had never used toys in your sex life before. Jin is more of a fan of getting fingered extensively from you until he's prepared and relaxed enough to take you slowly all way in.

And now, this beautiful buttplug is enclosed in the most erotic and sinful way by your sweet, rosy musclering.

Fuck, if you only could be with Jin right now, to be able to admire this plug with a closer look, to pull it out of Jin and tease his hole a little bit with the tip of the plug.

You're so fascinated and immersed in admiration that you don't notice how Jin is getting nervous and insecure. You still haven't said anything, even though a minute has passed.

"Y-Y/N?", Jin asks in an unsettled voice. He's already about to turn around and pull his pants up again, when life comes back into your body and you answer him hastily.

"No, no, no! Please stay in this position! Fuck, baby... I don't know what to say... You are so damn sexy!", you're stuttering, you just can't take your eyes from his plug.

"But please explain to me... why... why are you doing things like that? And where did you get the plug? I-I mean, fuck, that's so damn sexy, I'm the happiest man in the world and I wish, I'd with you right in this moment and could tease you a little bit with this cute little plug... but why? I thought such things in front of the camera makes you uncomfortable? Please don't do such things only for me! Just because I'm so fucking horny today again! Please don't do it because you-", but then Jin interrupts your babbling.

When you got out of the shower this morning and looked at yourself in the mirror, you couldn't help it but send Jin a picture of you shirtless, hoping to get him involved in a bit of spicy and horny texting. You've the feeling that this quarantine and the canceled visit makes you horny 24/7. You don't want to admit it, but fuck. You need Jin so much.

"I wanted to try this for a long time... for months it kept coming back to my mind. I was frustrated by myself when you tried to encourage me to do something sexual in videos or directly live in front of you but always pull back again. Because... because... I don't know it clearly. I wanted to do something with you, I-I had countless fantasies about it in my mind... I wanted to be sexy for you, to make you moan and curse with my s-sight... b-but I think, I was just too shy every time. I felt so awkward and ridiculous doing things like that in front of the laptop. Such things that the two of us usually only do together on our own. I was embarrassed by myself... ", Jin mumbled and is glad, that at this moment you only see his butt and not his crimson red face.

Your eyes grew round like bowling balls, filled with disbelief.

"W-What? So that means... you wanted to do these things all day, but you were just too shy? Because you thought you would be awkward and weird?"

"Y-Yes. I want to do... naugthy stuff with you while videocalling... Fuck, Y/N, I miss you so much! I miss your kisses, your hugs, your soft carresses, your tender kisses on my body. Our foreplay, when you gently prepare me and finger me open for you... I-I miss our sex so much and just mastubation with my hand isn't satisfying anymore! I want you... I need you so bad... ", says Jin. Starts whimpering at the last of his sentences.

With these words, a deep growl comes from your throat and some curses leaves your lips, your pants has become so damn tight at the center.

"Fuck, baby, I know. I know how you feel, I feel the same way! I want you so bad, I was looking forward to seeing you again. Fuck, this damn pandemic."

You push the bed tray with the laptop a little away, impatiently you unbuckle your belt and opens your pants. Your cock needs a little more freedom in this moment.

When Jin hears your words and the rustling of fabric, realize how worked up you already are, he immediately feels a little bit more confident. He moves a little closer to the laptop and offers you an even better view. He bites his lower lip in anticipation of what finally seems to follow after such a long time.

"Jin... would you be okay with it to pull your butt cheeks apart so that I can see the plug... a little bit better?", you ask in a husky growl, teasing your hard erection through the thin fabric of your boxers.

By this question, a soft whimpering comes over Jin's lips, with trembling hands he reachs back and placing each one on a butt cheek, pulling them slowly apart to give you the sight you desire for.

"Fuck, Jin Baby, that's so sexy. You're so, so damn sexy! Do you even know how all of this here is turning me on? God, you're killing me!", you groan and rubbing instantly harder over you clothed, rock hard dick.

A little smirk appeared on Jin's lips. When he's already killing you right know, how should you survive these other things that Jin planned for tonight...

"Honey, would you like it when I pull that plug out of me and gonna finger myself... w-while you can watch me?", Jin asks you sweetly with a slightly shaking voice. The thought alone let Jin's own erection twitch.

Oh fuck, Jin is going to be your death someday.

"Please, Baby... I would be so thankful when you allow me such a view. Letting me watch how you please yourself...", you answer in a breathy, hoarse voice and let your head fall back against the wall.

Closing your eyes for a moment, try to prepare yourself mentally for what coming next. This Show, Jin will give you, will be surely unbelievable sexy... but also an absolute torture for you.

You're usual the one with a leading hand in your relationship when it comes to bedroom stuff. But you have to admit, that you're not the most assertiv Top... and Jin knows way too well, where to find and to press your soft spots.

Sometimes it comes to the point that Jinnie is wrecking you more than you him! You think, that your Darling kinda loves the thought to make your knees weak instead of his. And to be honest... you loves it so fucking much, when your big shy bean find his self confidence again and tease the shit out of you, just saying, that he just wants to please you.

As you hear a soft whimper coming out of the speakers of you Laptop, you startle and your eyes snaps open immediatly. A little groan get out of you throat, that rises up from the deepest place of your chest. God, it shouldn't be allowed to be so fucking attractive, you think.

Jin pulled a latex glove of his right hand and is about to reach back to his most precious places, to grab the gemmed base of his plug. His left hand pull his buttcheek a little bit away to give you an amazing view of his action.

Your Boxer briefs has literally a tent at your crotch now and your cock twitch at the sight, is angrily fighting to be finally completely free. God, you're such a bastard for very detailed graphics... like the view Jinnie is giving you now.

You yank your Jeans and your Boxers with a curse down. Gripping your hard length and squeezes it with a firm grip, when you see Jin's rosy, seductively glistening muscle ring stretching open as your Boyfriend pulls the plug slowly out of himself.

He's panting fast when he let the plug fall on a towel beside him and his left hand leaves his butt. His upper body flops down onto the mattress and now, your Jinnie presents himself in the most erotic way you could imagine.

Ass up, sticking his butt out into the air and let you admire his sweet hole, slightly stretched my the plug, clenching around nothing in anticipation for the promised play session that will follow now.

Jin lets his lower body sink down as well, laying on his stomach and turning onto his right side. Allow you a little glance of Jin's adorably pink flushed cheeks and the red tips of his ears. This sight makes your heart and stomach flutter, blushy Jin while doing naughty stuff is just... hitting all of your soft spots in one tour.

He pulls his upper leg, his left leg up to his chest and positions himself comfortably, while he's pouring a good amount of lube onto his latex gloved fingers. Then he's reaching back again.

The pad of Jin's middle finger teases gently his entrance, his body is still moving until he founds a really comfortable position. After the tip of his finger disappeared in himself, the whole length of his finger sinks into his sweet hole as well. Let you watch, how he'll finger himself, enjoying himself, feeding his own desire, give him this desperately needed pleasure when you can't unfortunately. And fuck... that's so hot!

After he needs a short moment to adjust, he starts pumping his middle finger in and out. At first slowly, then faster and faster. Jin is getting even needier when the pleasure of his finger-play arise more and more. It didn't took long until he allows his ring finger to glide into his hot walls as well.

After a few thrusts of his hand, he begins to spread his two fingers apart, scissoring and stretching his sinful tight asshole open, let you watch the movements of his fingers very well.

You're gulping and breathing audibly out of your nose, a longing, slightly even desperate hum leaves your throat. You want to be at Jin's side, want to watch him in real.

You want to see, how he's stretching himself open for your cock, moaning and whimpering you name. You want to touch him. You want to grip his thigh and his left ass cheek firmly, give it a gentle slap and pull the soft flesh up to get a closer look.

Admiring how wonderful his fingers fucking himself, how rapidly he's slamming them into his hole, his noises getting even more whiny and desperate. His hips starts to circle, loud breathy and high pitched moans leaving his lips when his fingertips reaching for a second this sweet spot deep inside of him.

But just for a tiny moment, there is not enough stimulation for your needy Boy. Especially when he knows how good he could feel, when he remember the times when you teased his prostate.

Your thumb grazing again and again over your angry red, precum leaking crown, teasing yourself. The urge is enormous to just jack off in a brutal fast pace to finally satisfy the barely standable desire, that grows in your abdomen.

Your eyes don't leave the screen when you reach to your beside table and pull the first drawer open, searching uncoordinated with your hand in there. You curse under breath when you finally perceive the things you searched for, but can't grab them.

If you want or not, your eyes have to leave the erotic sight of Jin's figure for a moment, when you want to get your needed things out of the drawer.

You bend quickly over to the side, fishing the lube and your fleshlight out of your nightstand. You use this helpful toy when there is not enough friction to get you off or... when you're freaking horny... when you just want to fuck Jin right in that moment.

With it, you can better imagine how you'd be pounding into Jin, laying his legs over your shoulders and gripping his thighs. Let Jin whimper and beg until you allow him to touch his own cock to be finally able to cum. Imagine, how his hot walls gripping your cock tightly, literally squeezing and cock milking you until it's too much and you shoot you load of white, creamy cum deep inside of him.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! You need him so, so freaking bad right now, it drives you crazy!

When you turn back to your Laptop, Jin is panting heavingly and pulls his fingers out of himself right in that moment, throwing the used latex glove into the trash can next to his bed. Now you're the one who starts whining.

"Baby, why just stopped fingering yourself? Fuck, that was so damn hot and I love to see that, why-", you ask him, eyebrows pulled together in desperation and frustration.

Jin's body is trembling, he's panting fast and gasps for breath leaves his red swollen lips. He need a bit time to collect himself again and to be able to anwer you in a throaty voice.

"T-There is another surprise I prepared for you...", he's stuttering slightly and grab his laptop to place you with it in his desk. You're confused, again.

He goes back to his bed, step out of his pants completely now and pulling his green sweater over his head.

Now he's standing in his bare, naked full glory infront of the camera, let you gasp for breath. God, he's beautiful. His body reminds you always of these greek sculptures, his beauty is absolutely beyond all descriptions.

You can't describe him. You have to see him.

He grabs for the bottle of lube and lays it next to you, well, his laptop, on his desk. Without a word, you follow his actions, don't dare to say anything. Even when you two are not in the same room, there is a thick sexual tension between Jin and you through your laptops.

"Y/N... can you close your eyes for a moment? Until I say you can look again?", Jin says in a quiet voice. Looking at you through the camera in dark pupils full of lust and with pleading eyes, to just follow his appeal without asking.

Well, you wanted to protest but with this sight you close your mouth again and nod slightly, closing your eyes as well.

You hear some footsteps, something rumbles like he's moving something around. You knit confused and questioningly your eyebrows together, but you don't say anything. These noises disappears and silence returns to the speakers of your laptops. Just here and there you can hear some soft footsteps of Jin.

Suddenly, out of nowhere you can hear a long, broken moan of Jin that is followed by a soft, sweet "Oh my God, yes!" and a shaky, but so sensual hum that comes out of Jin's Chest.

"B-Baby... Y-You can open your eyes again..."

Even when you opened your eyes again, you can't believe them. That has to be a fucking dream, right?

You squint your eyes more than one time, your jaw dropped and you can't bring any proper sentences over your lips, starts babbling nonsense.

"O-Oh my holy fuck!... Jin, oh fuck... Fuck, fuck, fuck, you can't kill me like that! Y-You can't do this to me, I'll going completely crazy to see you like that... Fuck, Jin Baby, I want you so bad... Oh God, that's so sexy. You're so goddamn sexy."

Jin is sitting with the back to you on a chair with a flat seating surface, gripping moaning and whimpering the edge of the backrest tightly. Lifting himself slowly up and lower his body with the most delicious and tantalizing hip circles again.

Bouncing at first slow, then faster and faster on this transparent pink silicone dildo that is placed with a suction-pad on the seat.

Let you watch how good he can take this fake cock in his tight ass after he prepared himself with fingerfucking so well. How he lowers himself down, stuffing the dildo inch for inch into his stretched and needy hole, filling himself up with this silicone dick.

The way, how he's riding this dildo in front of the camera, so needy and desperate...

The way, how all these moans and whimpers flowing over his lips without any shame...

Let you guess, how much he needed you too, how bad he needed to get fucked by your cock again.

It shows you how much he's missing the sex with you.

You can't see his face, but the red tips of his ears. You don't know why, but it turns you so fucking much on, to see Jin's blushing face.

To see, how he's a little bit embarrassed for being so needy but at the same time he's riding this dildo so fucking desperate, can't stuff enough of this plastic cock into his greedy hole. Bouncing up and down on this dick, moaning your name like he's riding you in this moment, instead of this fake dick.

Let you see, how he would bouncing on you, how he would fucking you when you would be at his side.

And this... this so goddamn sexy that you have the feeling that you'll go insane by your desire for him.

"Jin, Baby... turn around. I want to see your face when you cum. I want to see your blushy face. Flushed red, caused by your embarrassment for doing filthy things in front of the camera, right?", you ask him breathless, a little teasing smirk.

Jin whine and when he hesitatingly turn around, you see that he got even redder. God, your precious baby is so shy doing dirty things with you... you love it!

While he's turning around and re-positioned himself above the dildo, you hastily prepare your rock hard cock and the fleshlight with lube. When Jin sinks down on that dildo, you enter with a deep groan the fleshlight.

The fleshlight is only a poor comfort when you know how tight and hot Jin's walls really are. But you see Jin with the same unsatiesfied desire when he's bouncing on that damn fake dick. Jin knows, how wonderful your cock, only your cock, stretch his ass in all perfect places open and filling him up to the maximum.

But still, it's definitely better than nothing! You'll go through this time together until you're finally able to lay in each others arms again.

You hear in Jin's whines and his needy face expression shows you that he gets closer and closer to the edge, but it's not enough to cum. He's about to wrap his hand around his hard, precum leaking dick, when you start lecturing him.

"Nuh, nuh, nuh! Baby, you know the rule, right? You're not going to touch your cock until I say so, is that clear? You know the reason? Hm?", you say in a harsh, dominant voice and raise an eyebrow.

Jin bite down on his plushy and swollen lip, try his best not to let a whine out. Jinnie's face full of desperation and sexual need is one of your favourite views... that's pure art.

"Y-Yes... I-I'm not allowed to touch myself until you're close too, so we can cum together...", he whimper with a broken voice.

"That's right, Darling... so please wait a little bit longer... for me, yeah?", you wisper in a gentle tone into the microphone of the laptop.

The longer Jin wasn't allowed to touch his dick, the more whinier he got, bouncing breathlessly up and down on his dildo. But exactly that turned you even more on and your hand, with which you hold the fleshlight moved even faster. So it doesn't took much time that you're on the cliff to cum too.

You enjoy how Jin looks at you since the last three minutes. So fucking desperate and needy, impatiently waiting at your sign that he's allowed to touch his cock and jack himself off.

A thin layer of sweat is covering his skin, his bangs sticks to his forehead, plush lips are red from chewing. His chest rises and falls quickly, Jin's breathing is fast. His fingers are clawed on the edges of the seat, his arms supporting him while riding the cute transparent, pastel pink silicone cock.

Your gaze move lower in his body, a satisfied smirk spread in your lips when you see his thick long cock twitching whenever he fills his ass with the dildo up to the base. The crown of his dick is red and precum is spread all over his stomach and the top of his thighs. His plump balls, completely full of delicous cum are shacked up to his body. They're just waiting for release and to be finally able to let the load shoot all over Jinnie's stomach and chest.

You love the sight. Even when you're not there, at the end you're still able to make a complete mess out of your sweet Boy.

Now, you think, he should be allowed to cum.

"Now, Baby...", you said with a teasing smirk and you're literally bathing in satisfaction when Jin gasps in relief and immediatley wrapping his hand into a fist around his cock. He just needed a few rubs until he cum with a high-pitched whine that sounds like a mixture of a moan and a sob. God, he's so messed up.

This sound alone let you blow your load into your fleshlight.

Jin's orgasm seems to be strong, the waves of pleasure leaves his body trembling and oversensitive. He flinch when he's about to get up from the dildo and takes it out of his super oversensitive hole.

God, he's so fucking beautiful when he's messed up.

"Baby, this was undescribable sexy... we should do it more often, definitely! Who know's when we're able to see each other in real life again? Hm, what do you think, Jinnie?"

Jin is gulping, his adams apple bobs in damn attractive way and then, he's nodding with bright red cheeks.

"Yes... please."

Okay, with this fanfic here I've fulfilled my educational responsibility as a fanfic writer!😂😅

[cartoonfangirl1218]

Anniversary

Happy Birthday @pizza-n-sunshine! Its a day early here but over there, it’s your birthday! I hope you have a wonderful time with your family and friends and perhaps some Pan dulce while you’re at it. You’ve been such a wonderful friend, a leader almost as you created such beautiful fanfics that undoubtedly brought a smile to my face or occasionally pulled at my heart. You’ve helped host and edit one of the most rocking podcasts, and what’s more. You’ve been unfailingly kind, open hearted and sweet to everyone looking to squeal their hearts out over this wonderful show. An era may be over, but your magic within and your light will always shine so bright. Enjoy!  Elena took a deep breath and peeked from the corner of her eye. Mateo was sitting silently, crossed legged and breathing deeply to the sounds of Flo singing around the courtyard, sniffing the flowers and generally dancing with delight over the bright sunny day.

Or more likely Mateo was meditating in spite of Flo's cheerful singing. 

The fluffy alpacamundi was truly adorable and sweet, she had been a manifestation of all of Elena's happiness after all, but meditative and staying quiet were never one of her key traits. 

Speaking of manifesting Elena's happiness. 

She peeked out of the corner of her eye at Mateo's blissful face. It seemed he reached his peace. Elena felt the familiar flutter in her stomach even though she had been lucky enough to see his face every day for the past six years now. But she could never get enough of it. 

The crookedness of his lips when he felt a bit uncomfortable that made her heart go out to him, but as adorkably endearing. The soft brown curls that Elena loved running her fingers through, mussing it a bit, making him look untamed. Which reminded her of his eyes. 

His beautiful expressive hazel eyes and how his feelings shone out of them clear as the sun. The mischievous twinkle, the wicked glint at night, the tenderness....Ah the tenderness she loved. For even though she was a strong queen, she prided herself on the fact, she was able to let go around him, and for that she was grateful. 

He would never see it as a weakness or see her as less weak. He just held her, and she reveled in that affection. Yes, he was also a manifestation of happiness.

 Not that she created him. But he brought her happiness all the same. 

Which is why on this bright spring day, she was enjoying this morning by having a day off and meditating with him. Well that and one other reason. It happened to be their one year anniversary.

She hadn't been expecting a parade or a bouquet of flowers, she wasn't so high-maintenance, but a little something. 

She would have preferred a day with no work, no other people. Just her and Mateo curled up in some little concealed part of the garden, enjoying each other's company. And perhaps more. 

In fact, that had been what she expected when Mateo arrived at her door, asking her if she wanted to go out to the garden. 

When they got to the far corner of the garden with its apricot mallow flowers. It was a secluded spot, mainly because it seemed that there was not much to look at but the sparse hills. Which was true during the daytime, but at night, with its simple view, it made the sunset all the more stunning and vivid. In fact it reminded her a bit of Mateo. 

How people saw him as a somewhat shy and dorky wizard, even he saw himself as that, doubting his skills and abilities. But Elena just knew ever since he helped free her from her amulet that there was a spark, a royal master wizard in him that just needed to believe in himself. Seemingly plain at first glance, but at the right moment, he could take your breath away. 

So with all these clues, she waited for him to magic up a blanket, perhaps a picnic of her favorite pan dulce treats and enjoy their alone time.

Instead Mateo said that he had wanted to do some meditation outside since it was so nice out. He sat down, patted the spot next to her and closed her eyes. So she played along even attempting to do a downward dog while he was in a perfectly content butterfly pose. And it had been like this for the past 10 minutes. Either he was really good at holding out the surprise or he really didn't know what it was. 

Nothing new going on here, no smile or Happy anniversary.

Elena shook her head. What was wrong with her? This is what she wanted after all. Alone time with Mateo. Which was even more solitary now that Flo was gone, bored by their inaction.

But still...a little acknowledgement would have been nice. After all, for her the moment they gave into their feelings had been like an unexpected bolt of lightning, a feeling of shock after the Coronation ceremony. 

She had thought finally being crowned queen, surrounded by her family and friends, had been cathartic enough. But when she found the words to tell Mateo her intense feelings and Mateo return them in turn, a new catharsis came.   Everything fitting into place. A moment of completeness. 

She had somewhat realized her feelings months before. It had been during the first few days after Naomi's departure. She had felt lost without her best friend.

She always treasured the blonde's company, and she hadn't wanted to stand in the way of her dreams, but she hadn't been expecting such feelings of abandonment and loneliness. 

Mateo had seen her wandering the hallways, nostalgically looking at their picture together and did what he did best. He listened, he sympathesized, he gave her comfort like no one else could. There was something about that understanding look, the soft feel of his wool rub that made her feel safe, like everything would be okay in the end. There was no judgement, just love. Maybe that had been running undercurrent in her mind. 

For when Mateo reminded her that between the three of them, and Isabel's inventions, Avalor would be well-protected and he and Gabe might not be able to do girl-talk. they would take over the other best friend activities, something rang false. 

When he assured her that Naomi would come back to her true home after she sailed the seven seas, that this was no different than if it had been Gabe leaving on a guard search or Mateo travelling to find some new spells.

She didn't know what it was but the idea of Mateo leaving struck more deep than the sadness she felt at Naomi's departure. The thought of Mateo leaving for an indefinite amount of time, no idea when or if he would come back was like the ground opening up under her. Being stuck back in the amulet. Without Mateo by her side, she would lose her biggest source of comfort. Her biggest sharer of puns. He helped calm her, reminding her of her mother's song. Being with Mateo was like being with someone who was perfectly attuned with her feelings. They could share a look and know exactly what the other was thinking. He was more than a friend. He was... 

That's when it hit her. 

But she just smiled at Mateo and nodded, leaning into the crook of his neck, all the while trying to calm her fluttering heart and focus on jaquins and pan dulce in hopes of keeping the thoughts at bay. 

She had done a good job of it. Mateo had been so surprised when she admitted her feelings for him. But then after Naomi had left there had been many things to distract her. The coming darkness, her lying cousin, malvagos, planning Chloe's party, her own coronation coming up. 

She got swept up in the bustle of life and tried her best to ignore the feelings of warmth and happiness that Mateo's smile gave her. She had to wait. She had to wait till she was ready. 

That came after the day after Coronation. 

She had been more than ready to start the day. Even though it wasn't royal queen behavior, she had run down the hall, as eager as she had at 16. And she ran right into Mateo. 

He had smiled and teased her, "Someone's excited to do paperwork." They had held each other's arms a bit too long. They laughed and had looked longer into each other's eyes than a best friend should.

And she plunged, "Mateo, how are... I mean.. I'm gad we danced. But I had really wanted to have that first dance with you." He blushed and sheepishly rubbed his neck, "It;s fine. Francisco has been there for you for so long.." 

“Yes, but you have been with me too." Elena interrupted, feeling that she had to blurt everything now even if her tongue was slower than the words speeding in her head, "No matter what. And.. I will be there for you no matter what too." "Of course, Elena, I never doubted that." 

“And I love you. I think I really love you." 

The emotions across Mateo's face were brief yet distinct. Confusion, disbelief, shock, happiness. His voice wavered because despite his gleeful face, he still couldn't believe his ears, "You do?" 

 “Yes." Elena inhaled, feeling the weight, the nervous flutter dissipated even if he might reject her. 

Though she doubted it from his glowing features.  "I-I do too." Mateo whispered, still unsure so much like the young wizard she had encouraged to find the magic within than the confident man he was now. 

They smiled, Elena felt like her face would split wide open. Mateo smiled at her and it made her smile more which made him smile that sweet crooked smile.

They kissed, starting a bit hesitant, a bit awkward, but then their lips touched and once more completeness enveloped her. That and warmth and fireworks. It was a world unto her own and she was floating in his arms. 

Her mind was at once blank, only feeling Mateo's touch and spinning with questions in a freefall. She also felt a sense of imbalance at Mateo's admittance. When she realized her feelings she hadn't been sure that Mateo liked her in that way. 

He had said they were friends, kept assuring he would always be there for her, that's what friends did. But to realize that Mateo had been hiding feelings too.

She wondered when it started. She had her answers soon enough after they stopped kissing. Embarrassingly caught by Senora Torrez and Flo's knowing smiles. 

They talked long into the night after a busy day of work that she hadn't been able to concentrate as she should have. She had been embarrassed to find out that Mateo realized his feelings long before her and that she had remained perfectly oblivious. Mateo told her that it was fine, she had more important things going on then and he had thought she wouldn't feel the same way for a simple wizard like him. 

She reminded him that he was not a simple wizard, he was so much more than that and she believed he was capable of great things. They talked about the depths of their feelings, how they had always felt a connection. Elena even mentioned how it transcended dreams like her nightmare universe where Esteban reigned. 

No matter what was more than a saying between then. It was an oath, a promise they'd never break. They'd always be there for each other. 

The slight annoyance that Mateo was not remembering what day it was faded away at the thought of their saying. 

“Stop it, Elena" she scolded herself, "He has a lot of other things on his mind.” With teaching Olivia and his other apprentices, and advising Gabe's magic squadron, and helping rebuild alliances and dealing with complaints. He must need this meditation time in order to relax. 

She certainly knew he needed sleep from staying up all night perfecting spells and preparing potions, his mind constantly racing to find more knowledge. Though she must admit she found the result of his lack of sleep- his spontaneous cat naps around the palace- adorable. 

Not everything is going to be focused on their relationship. He was going to get distracted and forget once and a while. That didn't matter. She knew he loves her. She glanced at Mateo again, he looked so peaceful. A small smile on his lips, his head bowed in concentration. 

How times have changed. 

She never thought once she became queen that everything would be fine. There were still minor attacks from villagers awakening a sleeping magical creature mixed with the more mundane, and politically-tricky kingdom negotiations. 

But it was nowhere near the life or death battles against shades and malvagos, and battling her own intense emotions reflected through her magic powers. She was confident now, she knew how to rule and balance her own feelings with the greater picture for the good of the kingdom. 

It was certainly a different time from when she was first released from her amulet. She chuckled at how impatient and overconfident she had been, with no clue of how much she was about to learn and experience.

Oh and now she, the Queen of Avalor, was the girlfriend of the Master Royal wizard. 

Mateo was her soul mate. A boy with many talents, but the biggest one was his heart and bravery despite all that he had been through. 

He had grown the most over the years they've together from studying in the darkness of the basement, hiding his chispa from Shuriki's forces to facing his own insecurities to staring down the most dangerous malvagos the Everrealm had known. 

Elena shook her head. She was going to forget all that special anniversary nonsense. She was happy enough being with him, and seeing him happy.

She got up, and kissed the top of his head, 'I'm going to go tell Armando to bring some pan dulce for us. Yoga works up an appetite.

“Especially if it's Ixlan's extreme yoga." Mateo smiled. 

Elena laughed and stopped by the fountain seeing Flo splashing around with the birds. "Flo can you tell Armando to bring some pan dulces to the far end of the garden." 

"Oo pan dulce! Can I eat some!? Can I eat some?!" Flo pleaded. 

"Of course you can." Elena promised. "Yipee!" Flo called, racing off to find Armando. 

Elena walked back and saw Mateo frantically setting up a blanket as flower bouquets and garlands levitating in the air. 

“You remembered?" Elena gasped, running to hug Mateo from behind, causing the petals to fall down, petals spinning around them as they crashed. 

"Heh, I was hoping to surprise you, but you wouldn't close your eyes for meditation." Mateo said, his crooked smile bringing out his laugh lines, "I know you wanted to spend the day together but I thought I'd make it a little bit magical." He motioned to the formerly levitating objects and she giggled at his pun. 

“I love it!" Elena beamed, and kissed him, savoring the the taste of his lips, how he was almost hesitant at first, probably from surprise, but then it deepened, filled with longing as all her senses went on overdrive, intoxicated by the touch of Mateo, his taste, his warmth. Everything, it left her breathless. But she had one present to give him first before she forgot... 

"I got you something too," she frantically reached into her belt where she had clumsily tied her present next to her scepter but had hoped that he wouldn't have noticed. 

They had said they wouldn't get gifts but she had broken the promise anyway. Her gift was an old spellbook she had found in her father's office, now hers. King Raul had been close with Alacazar, very interested in magic works as much as science. The spellbook was Alacazar's when he had first been named royal wizard, scrawled with Alacazar's and Raul's personal notes, and she thought it would be fitting that Mateo should have it as the Master Royal Wizard.

 She added her own touch of putting the words, "Bravery,' "Discipline," "Courage," and "Love" in classical Maruvian thanks to Naomi's help.

"Wow!" Mateo inhaled, reverently gliding his hands on the smooth cover, "Thank you, Elena."

"I love you." "I love you too." Mateo replied and pulled her closer for another kiss. 

"Whatcha doing?" Flo sing-songed, leaping onto Elena's shoulder with a roguish smile, causing the two to reluctantly pull apart to see Armando's fluster face as he left a plate of pan dulce on the discarded blanket. 

“So shall we start the meditation again?" Elena teased, snuggling close to Mateo's side, popping a pan dulce in her mouth as Flo eagerly chowed down.

"Elena!" Mateo cried indignantly, "It's our anniversary, this isn't no ordinary day."

Elena laughed as she recalled her thoughts minutes ago, "What do you suggest?'

"I know the perfect way to clear our minds" Mateo smiled and leaned for another blissful kiss.

[blackley1995]

Readings

The Invisible Image

- This particular reading was very engaging in terms of the topic discussed, especially the projects that were mentioned in this reading. It’s also very one sided in terms of the persons opinion in preferring analogue over digital. The person does make great points which reveal the person’s love for the traditional process of analogue. Quotes like ‘It was like witnessing a spell, a revelatory moment  I will never forget’ which the person is talking about the moment they first saw a photograph being developed. Having experienced this moment myself I totally agree, being someone who has been brought up in the world of digital photography and seeing an image being developed and seeing the image slowly reveal itself is fascinating and unforgettable.

- This reading also touches upon the negative points about the process of analogue. For example, ‘Investment, frustration when a roll of exposed film is lost or damaged during the developing process’. And ‘Analogue you have to wait, digital photograph is instant’. I totally agree with the second quote but the first quote represents the ups and downs of analogue which you will have to go through at certain times. Yes analogue may become more expensive than digital over a period of time but analogue needs time, patience and most importantly perseverance which is what makes the process of analogue a special and rewarding practice. This quote sums my point up perfectly ‘The wait is happiness in itself’ (Leopold Schefer).

- This reading reveals projects that have happened in the past which represent the analogue image as being the invisible image, a mystery. Which it is really, once a film roll has been processed you are still yet to fully see the images on a larger scale before the image is exposed by light onto photographic paper. For example you don’t know if they are in focus or if there are marks on the image. One project that links to this point is called’ Photograph without Positive’ created by Spanish artist Isidoro Valcarcel.

- This involved Valcarcel anonymously sending a notebook size sheet of paper to a number of people. A dark plastic envelope was stuck onto the sheet of paper and the lower part had text which was instructions. The envelope contained photo sensitive paper which had been exposed in black and white but not developed. These recipients had 4 choices which were; sending the packet to be developed, obtaining a signed photo, keeping it enclosed indefinitely without knowing what is inside or simply opening it.

If the paper was developed the image was a still life of the objects that were used to make the artwork. For me this project represents the unknown, the hidden image, the latent image, presenting limitless options for the recipients. This can’t be done with digital which makes a project like this unique. It tests peoples curiosity, some people are desperate to know what the image could be on the photographic paper.

I knew the Spice Girls

- This reading is similar to the one above. In terms of talking about the popularity with digital but also the dangers ‘Digital cameras are much simpler to use, faster, more powerful and cleaner. Traditional materials are more difficult to obtain, more expensive’. This reading is about a person who has gone into a photobooth that has a range of options and people to select to be in a picture with. This person picked the Spice Girls. What this is representing is image manipulation and the amount of options we have now. Also how easy it is now to edit and create fake images with the amount of editing software available. ‘Before printing, we can inspect it on screen and approve or reject it. If we don’t like it we delete it and try again.’ Although editing will take time to get used to, in terms of the amount of tools you can select. ‘Widespread access to computer and image processing programmes.’ He goes on to add, Digital photo booths nudges us towards photomontage and manipulation.’

- This also touches upon the fact that anyone can take a picture now, especially with phones and how advanced they are in terms of their use and image quality. It’s also quick and easy to take a picture and upload it to social media. Compared to the traditional way ‘Old booths catch us with our eyes closed.’ Although he says ‘The difference now is our degree of familiarity with these techniques and how easy they are to use.’ I partly agree with this quote, yes digital is easier than analogue in terms of a quicker process but digital cameras now have so many settings and the user guides are full of information with how to use each and every setting. 

Grace Lau (working on the uses of photographers of the Chinese in the west)

- This reading is an example of how important research is, how it influenced Lau’s work. The importance of continuous research along with a project you may be doing and certain influences you can get from looking at other photographer's work and how they might change the way you approach your project. These are all very key. ‘The research I do impacts on my work, looked at how other people address the issue means I sometimes have to shift my approach.’ 

- Lau created a book called 21st century types, this was to subvert the Victorian traditions of portraits by constructing an imagined Chinese portrait studio of the Victorian period so she could photograph contemporary ‘western types.’ Due to her research she was inspired and looking at William Sanders work changed her way of thinking slightly. His work inspired her to focus more on how her studio background could reveal more of what she had learned in her research. Sanders portraits of people of the 20th century made her choose to let her subjects to keep their tools of their trade (shopping, sunglasses, mobile phones,and biker’s helmet). When waking into the studio she encouraged them to pose with them to help point out the differences between the 19th and 21st centuries. This shows the importance of research and the potential of photographers influencing your own work, ideas and approach. 

- Key quotes, ‘The research I do impacts on my work, looked at how other people address the issue means I sometimes have to shift my approach.’ In addition, ‘ Looking at other peoples work, collecting information an ideas forces one to sharpen and focus on ones own work and ideas. Research leads the practical.’ Lau also talks about the ongoing process, ‘Constantly evaluate work as a project develops.’ This was a very insightful read as it shows the need to keep researching while you are producing a project and be open to photographers influencing your work which could work out for the better. I will be taking these quotes on board as I am producing my own project. To make sure I do initial research before my project, before shoots and after shoots to get influences and ideas from a variety of different photographers. 

 Alejandro Duran, Washed Up: Transforming a Trashed Landscape, 2010-2013

I came across photographer Alejandro Duran when trying to find a photographer that links to my way of working but I couldn’t relate to anyone but one of Duran’s projects is similar to my project, documenting plastic pollution. Duran uses plastic waste that has been washed up on Mexico’s Caribbean coast (Coast of Sian Ka’an) from 58 countries (products that were made in these countries). He creates striking colour based sculptures which combine man made and nature to raise awareness. He rearranges objects in the way waves would. For example, one of his images is of green bottles in a rock pool representing algae, another one is bottles mixed in with rocks which are the same greyish colour along with the cloudy sky. Another example is he collected toothbrushes and placed them next to tree roots, using plastic to mimic roots. This is all to reflect the infiltration of plastic into the natural environment.

This project caught my attention straight away because first of all, the colours grab your attention and the colours are the same throughout the images in some. Then you realise the issue that is trying to be shown. Showing sort of two sides, appealing colour and a very strong message being shown. I have seen a lot of plastic pollution projects but this one is different, in terms of Duran’s creativity and thought process. Creating sculptures that link with a certain location, whether it’s green bottles representing algae or bottles filling up rock pools. These sculptures are striking but still maintain the environmental issue trying to get across to viewers and the worrying scale of the current problem with plastic pollution. Hopefully this project will help me with mine in terms of my approach to this issue.

[musicfeedsthesoul]

DEAR DVD RELEASE DAY

So...like all of us Tobikkos when the new DEAR DVD went on sale we went through the myriad of emotions that included excitement, joy, hope and thrill and quickly rushed to purchase my copy! 

When I went to the company (the day it was released for sale by the way) I normally purchase new releases from (CD Japan) they were already sold out of the Limted DVD. Which, you know...cause I am an addict I desperately needed.

After my foray into panic and the dramatic fall to my knees begging God “WHY!?! WHY ME!?! WHY NOW!?!” I realized that CD Japan wasn’t the ONLY company in the world. I went to look at the other stores I had shopped at before and nearly had a heart attack when the first one I clicked on, YesAsia, had it for sale still! I’ve ordered from them before (not new releases) and had no issues and was so relieved.

I order it and am so excited I mark my calendar and do a happy dance on the hour ever single hour. 

Then...

I try to remember if I paid for expedited shipping or not and my receipt doesn’t say it--and in the past when I have ordered new releases from CDJapan if I pay for expedited shipping it has ALWAYS arrived on or before the release date. Given the fact that I hadn’t ordered new release products from YesAsia before I decide I will send them an email and find out and if possible add expedited shipping to my order if necessary.

The next day I receive a response from them:

We are sorry that we are unable to guarantee the Hey! Say! JUMP LIVE TOUR 2016 DEAR. (2DVD+PHOTOBOOK) (First Press Limited Edition) (Japan Version)  will be delivered by the date of release.

The order is usually shipped out on/after the release date and it is subject to the availability. 

“The order is usually shipped out on/after the release date and it is subject to the availability.”

Extra time may be required for us to obtain stock from supplier after the release date. The Express mail will take 3-5 working days for delivery from our Hong Kong warehouse after shipment is made.

Thinking perhaps I was misunderstanding what they were actually saying to me, I send a message back asking the following:

I need to be sure: are you basically telling me that not only will there be little chance that the DVD I pre-ordered from you will arrive on the release date, but you are also saying it could be an indefinite time AFTER that as you don't actually GUARANTEE the stock you sell?? 

I’m an optimist so I decide I should wait til they respond to make sure I am actually understanding what they are saying to me.

The next day:

We regret that release date and quantities of item is entirely at discretion of our suppliers, thus, we cannot guarantee the ship date of item and whether item can be sourced. 

We appreciate your understanding and patience in this matter.

I’m in complete and total denial at this point, not gonna lie, so I STILL send another email back to just please for the love of all things good and Holy, let this be something OTHER than what it sounds like. Pls. Pls. Pls.

I want to make sure I am understanding correctly that you are saying there is a chance that I will not EVER receive this product? As in, you will actually cancel my order and I will not receive the item I pre-ordered at all?

The response the next day:

The release date of "Hey! Say! JUMP LIVE TOUR 2016 DEAR. (2DVD+PHOTOBOOK) (First Press Limited Edition) (Japan Version)" is April 26 according to our supplier.

When it is released, we may take 14 days to source the item. 

Sometimes, due to popular demand, we cannot source the item for some orders as it is distributed in first-come-first-serve basis.

However, we will try our best to fulfill all the orders.

We appreciate your patience in this matter. If you do not wish to wait further, you may contact us for order cancellation.

So...I promptly went to CDJapan and ordered a normal copy of the DVD paying for expedited shipping because I really might need to be hospitalized if I start seeing gifs and spoilers and I can’t watch it because I am stupidly extra that way...

And...no, I didn’t actually cancel the order with YesAsia because maybe I WILL be blessed enough to get my copy--so I’m too terrified to cancel it on the off chance they’ll actually get enough copies to fill my order. 

I looked at other sources like proxy shopping and ebay and such, even contacted a few of the sellers who all said basically “we can’t guarantee we will be successful in procuring a copy of the Limited Edition”...so despite my willingness to spend an extraordinary amount of money to get the LTD Edition, I can’t seem to find a reliable source for it so I am still sticking with my original purchase in hopes that they come through for me.

Moral of this story? 

YesAsia has done a good job for me in the past, but this last month they messed up two of my orders, one was this LTD DVD and the other was a Tales of Zestiria book I had ordered for a birthday gift--which they ended up sending me a message nearly a week after I ordered to say that it would be at least three more weeks for them to procure the book and they would ship it once they had it. 

My issues isn’t a company having trouble getting products, I can fully understand that and have no issues with that. What I have an issue with is the fact that they do not CLEARLY explain that you are not actually placing an order like you would at other companies--I *know* that if I order something from CDJapan I am GOING TO GET IT...because they sell what they have ordered. 

This isn’t the case with YesAsia, and while I have clearly been fortunate in the past with them, when it comes to new releases and harder to find products, they do NOT tell you that they don’t have access to the products when you order them. Had it been ONE product I would not be saying this so strongly--but given it happened with two different products within three weeks of each other I want to tell others so they will know since in a past post I had highly recommended them.

Finally, yes, I will survive without the LTD Edition. I know, we all know right? I will be disappointed...but I’ll live--this is such a trivial thing in the big picture of all things in life but I’m giving myself a few days to feel my feels and then I will pull up my boot straps and march on. 

That said, please be wary of using this company in the future. I don’t want anyone to ever have to go through this! None of us have extra money to just throw at things and this is very irresponsible of this company to do business like this!

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

TF2Jam - Fanfic so far

Working Title: No Quick-Fix for the Common Cold

[Un-edited]

-     -    -

Each and every mercenary, RED or BLU, had signed an ironclad contract before commencing their indefinite period of service at Fortress Industries. Each sheaf of paper was exceedingly long, riddled with fine print, and had contingencies for every situation; and they did mean EVERY situation. From everyday battle procedures and expectations; through to clauses concerning unanticipated, supernatural, or permanently-fatal events. It also guaranteed specific wages, terms of activating emergency leave, and annual holiday allocations.

Given the diversity of the gathered personnel, it was fair to say that only holidays of significant religious or international importance were granted to the teams, via their generally tight-fisted employers. As such, many American-based holidays, such as the fourth of july and thanksgiving, tended to be celebrated on base with teammates… rather than with family or non-mercenary friends.

Not that all the men, or Pyro, had the option to take advantage of permitted leave time. At the most, allocated holiday periods provided exactly one week of leave. Meaning, in layman’s terms, that a team member had to make it from base, to their designated and pre-approved location, then back again... all within the space of seven days. While some could catch flights or trains to their destinations within a reasonable amount of time, to ensure festivities with family and friends alike, many international mercenaries could not.

There were many reasons, of course. Heavy was unable to return to see his family without significant travel time and infiltration techniques being required; as he was still a wanted man, for escaping the Gulags. Likewise, Medic was entirely disinclined to return to Germany during holidays; and if questioned he would respond that there was no one waiting at home for him, save perhaps the authorities, who took a dim view of his medical methods of revenge against former oppressors.

Engineer often took Pyro home with him, for the holidays; he and the firebug had a good rapport going on, and it seemed the arsonist behaved well enough around the Texan’s family to be allowed to stay. Mask and suit on, as always. Otherwise they might have had to stay on base with the others; as, like Soldier, they did not technically have anywhere else to go, or anyone waiting for them. As it stood, Engineer was still working on trying to get the violently american military man to come and stay at his ranch, during the holiday season; because staying on base all the time had to get boring.

Demoman tended to aim to go home for the longer holiday periods; otherwise the trip simply wasn’t worth it. Sometimes he’d drag one of the others along, and they’d come back talking about whatever insane adventure they’d been on. More than once, they’d returned to base battered, bruised and sporting some evidence of a supernatural battle. More recently, his favoured companion was Sniper; whom the Scotsman knew for a fact, had neither home nor kin, and was in sore need of a change of scenery given everything that had happened in the last little while.

Scout, on the other hand, was almost always off like a shot whenever a holiday arose. The kid of the group had his mother, seven older brothers, six sisters-in-law, one older brother’s ‘live-in-not-boyfriend’, and a truly obscene amount of nieces and nephews to go see. Even the fact that Spy periodically turned up and interjected himself into the scenario of organised entropy, often stealing the majority of Scout’s mother’s attention, was not enough to dampen the runner’s spirits in relation to festivities and familial interactions.

He’d rush off for the earliest flight available, and explode back onto base a hair’s breadth before midnight on the last day; gushing about everyone at home, and showering the rest of the mercenaries in candid polaroid pictures whether they wanted to see them or not.

All the travelling involved never seemed to dampen his enjoyment of the situation; and he’d remain highly energised for the foreseeable future, which tended to turn the tide of battles in their favour.

Even if it made mornings far more unbearable for their night-owl inclined mercenary members. No one wants to be the target of that much perky before they’ve had their coffee of a morning; least of all Sniper, who often bore the brunt of it, given his ability to make noncommittal noises of vague affirmation in all the right moments whether he was listening to the verbal deluge or not.

Still, it was an anticipated event. Something familiar you could set your Mann Co. watch by.

~)0(~

This year, however, when Christmas had rolled around; everything had been different.

The members of RED had only just been officially rehired by Fortress Industries after… all that Australium nonsense, just a few weeks before Thanksgiving; which meant they’d all spent the holiday together, slightly awkwardly trying to slip back into the familiar rhythms of camaraderie and cohabitation. Which had not been quite as easy as anticipated.

It wasn’t the slightly-singed turkey dinner that did it, however; but through the intervention of the perpetually-jovial-or-no-god-will-save-you Engineer, something close to cohesion was beginning to gel the RED team back together.

Though everything was still a bit awkward between them all; just as it had been back when being a team of mercenary roommates was new, unfamiliar and untested. It seemed so long ago, and yet here they were again.

Where there was once a pattern of behaviours that melded together and let each mercenary live their eccentricities in harmony with other team members; there was now a vague entropy, with clashes and conflicts caused by the returning REDs all trying to readapt to base life. Although many were still stuck in the behaviours they’d developed when away. Not all of them particularly pleasant to bear witness to, either.

Sniper kept accidentally sleeping half the day, due predominantly to the time differential between hemispheres, and then trying to shower at the time Spy usually claimed the bathroom; resulting in a loud altercation every single morning at 4am. Soldier, on the other hand, was back to his five am wake-up calls and drills; much to everyone’s frustrations. Engineer would spend all night awake, clanking away at some invention or other, completely forgetting he wasn’t in his own sound-proofed lab at home; and often got quite riled up when confronted about it by the sleep-deprived mercenaries. He tended to back down if you produced a sleepy Pyro or Scout, who tended to have that air of sad vulnerability about them when they were overtired. The other mercenaries found it rather adorable, in all honesty; but they valued their lives enough not to mention it.

Heavy wasn’t talking much anymore, trodding about stoically as if having such small amenities once more was entirely beneath him after the robust, mann-sized utilities of his homeland. Similarly abnormal was the manner in which Medic was uncharacteristically isolating himself from the others. Not a single word of future experiments, or mandatory physicals, had passed the man’s lips in casual conversation or during dinner conversations. In fact, he barely deigned to be present.

Something was wrong between the pair, but no one else knew quite how to come at the situation tactfully; without being shot down before they’d uttered the first syllable. So far, the unspoken majority felt that Spy would eventually get around to dealing with it eloquently, or through blackmail… whatever worked.

Pyro was turning everything and anything they could get their hands on, into glorious flames. Usually at some absurd time of day or night, when someone would have to drop everything to find an extinguisher in time. The scent of charred surfaces and fabrics seemed to permeate the base; and you never knew when you’d roll over and wake up to that eerie gas mask just staring at you, silently.

It had taken ages for them to get used to Pyro seeking someone out for comfort, late at night, before; and now it was almost impossible, given the six months wherein none of them had had such a concerning nocturnal visitor. The biggest concern was not actually waking up when Pyro sought you out… as the arsonist tended to try to get your attention by setting sheets aflame.  It was causing some tension in the ranks; when what little sleep they could grab, was ended by the crackle and pop of your uvet going up in smoke.

In fact, the only two that seemed closest to normal functioning, bar the occasional sleep deprivation, were the Demoman and Scout.

The former was not drinking, and actually spent significant time in the training rooms trying to work himself out of the despondent complacency he’d developed at home; while jobless and facing the perpetual scorn of his mother. It had not been easy.

Demo was the one who tried to keep the peace while the transition was ongoing. Perhaps trying a little too hard, as he’d often end up exhausted after defusing small spats and squabbles all day long. Honestly, the only major frustration for many of the other mercenaries, was that the man tended to hog the television most nights; although it wasn’t Demo’s fault that his favourite serial just so happened to clash with the Star Trek schedule.

After much debate, RED decided that they would simply have to buy a second television next time someone went into town.

On the other hand, Scout, having spent far too much time in an enclosed cell with Spy, had taken to expressing his newfound freedom in the only way that could possibly piss off the entire team simultaneously… leaving his possessions haphazardly all over the RED complex. Certainly, that was annoying; but most managed to rein in the impulse to throttle the fast-talking, Bonk!-swilling runner, because not a single other man could fault the kid.

They could, however, get annoyed when the Bostonian’s insomnia saw the brat practicing his baseball swing at two in the morning; when all else were abed and trying hard to catch some shuteye. He could usually be dealt with easily enough; a pan of warm milk should do it, but if that fails… there’s always the pan itself, as Spy had taken to subtly threatening.

Scout and Spy tended to make certain they were as far from one another as possible, and it suited everyone rather well. However, when they met up or came to verbal blows over a disagreement… it was rather explosive. No real change there.

Of course, people still clashed over common tasks, like whose turn it was to cook a meal or do the laundry. Who was responsible for the care and feeding of the homeless warlock in their dumpster, which teammates were on raccoon-sitting duty, who should have vacuumed the loungeroom for stray bullet shells, which person was responsible for helping Medic hose down his experiment room, and so on. Some were resolved quickly, but other little tasks had caused minor wars as most mercenaries tried to avoid the responsibilities being handed out.

In short, the return had not been easy.

Small concessions and agreements tended to be made in order to facilitate some miniscule degree of harmonious functionality, as they all readjusted to a formerly familiar situation. Rosters were drawn up, chores and incentives doled out generously; with punishments sparingly provided and enforced only upon repeat offenders, and the like.

Slowly, things had begun to return to an even keel.

Thanksgiving had been a pivotal turning point for them all, as a team; as the mercenaries had finally had a chance to assist in the preparation of a meal, and relax as they enjoyed it. No pressure, no expectations, just dinner in the company of your coworkers-slash-roommates; a family of murderers all carving the same turkey, and telling bad jokes, until everyone was too stuffed to even leave the table. There were some fantastic candid pictures of the event that Spy was refusing to give up, so Pyro could burn them… in the name of dignity.

Such cohesion, brought on by the holiday spirit of ‘togetherness’ and ‘family’ and all things equally saccharine, had really helped to settle things down. Which was the main reason as to why there had been such significant hesitation in many a member, not a month later, when it came to the concept of travelling home for the upcoming Smissmas holiday. Battles had yet to resume, as Miss Pauling was still trying to track down a few elusive members of BLU team; but at the very least, the REDs had become a more formidable group in their absence.

For many REDs, leaving to see family when those left behind on base could not, or had no one they could visit with, just felt plain wrong… after all the team-building they’d done in the last little while.

Those who usually remained on base took to arguing that it was fine for their teammates to leave; would not their families miss them otherwise? It was not as if those who remained would be alone, after all. Besides, they could revive a few secretive festive activities that the REDs had created in years past, for those who stayed on-base.

Still, Engineer, Demo and Scout hesitated. Forcing the others to raise the stakes from calm reassurance, to cajoling, through blatant arguments, and then onto low-level threats; just to get the men to realise they were not breaking up the team, by taking a trip home to see their families.

That settled, plans were made in rather rapid succession afterwards. Engineer whisked the Pyro off to Bee Cave, Demo had plane tickets for Sniper and himself within the hour, and Scout had spent more than half his allotted packing time… pacing about trying to think of a good excuse for where he’d been the last six months. After all, he’d promised his Ma he’d  come straight home after the teams disbanded, and only just sent word that they’d all been rehired by their original firm. There was a significant amount of time unaccounted for that she would definitely demand an explanation for; legal adult, or no.

It was a tad unusual, given his normal method of egress for the holidays; but then, it had been quite the odd year, for all of them. Heavy had had to literally carry the rambling runner out, and toss both batter and bag into the awaiting taxi; before Scout talked himself out of going for the third time in the last fifteen minutes. The Russian gave a cursory wave and trudged inside, as Scout’s journey home began.

Those who remained by choice, necessity or practicality, began to deck the base in familiar accoutrements. Unearthing ornaments and aged alcohols, records and recipe books from dusty storage boxes buried in the furthest depths of Engineer’s workshop; beginning the ritualistic transition of the base, from everyday accommodation to holiday home.

~)0(~

Twas the day after Smissmas, and all through the base, there were grenades used as baubles and so too, cans of mace. Streamers were everywhere, mercenaries were stuffed full, and those who were awake did not care to think on how midnight signalled the end of the holiday period for them. Those who remained were content that their Smissmas-on-base festivities had been recreated successfully this year around; even if it could have been slightly more lively, had more mercenaries stayed.

Of course, that did not mean the the returning were greeted with any less frivolity and delight, than usual.

First to arrive, obscenely early from the perspectives of the partiers, was REDs’ resident arsonist and inventor duo; fresh from Bee Cave, and exceptionally chipper. They were immediately forgiven for the somewhat-loud intrusion when it was revealed that the Engineer had brought several homebaked items to share. Equally as bright from their holiday adventure, the Pyro was excitedly mumbling a story at whichever teammate would listen; something about a new flamethrower designed by Engineer’s daughter, it seems. BLU Spy was in for a horrifying treat when battle recommenced.

Demo, on the other hand, strode in mid-afternoon with a crate filled to the brim with various clinking glass bottles; making a discordant cacophony of sound with the Scotsman’s every movement. He was beaming widely as Sniper slouched in behind him, the head of some paranormal creature dangling from a hand; and a well-utilised bottle from the other.

The New Zealander was laughing almost as hard as Demo, as they explained how they’d tracked down the Yowie through several swamps and eventually cornered the bugger in an abandoned playground. Thing was, the way Demo told it, the ruddy thing had given them the right runaround; utilising the equipment and trying to escape in zany, bordering on ridiculous, ways. Apparently, the Scotsman had pictures… which Sniper immediately confiscated, thus making them all the more desireable to the remainder of their base-bound teammates.

After the initial uproar of reintegration, intoxication, and subsequent retellings of the most interesting tidbits from their vacations; everyone seemed to settle down once more, shifting back into everyday mode. As per the roster, Heavy went to begin dinner preparations; and those who had just returned decided to use the lull to put their things away, as the others lounged about on various soft surfaces. Not yet ready to deal with full-on reality just yet, still somewhat entrenched in their post-Smissmas feast food comas.

By the time the sky was dark enough for a blanket of stars to shine through, the smell of something meaty and well-spiced was winding its way through the base and enticing many a hungry mercenary to congregate in the dining area. Though, the Russian warned, it may take a while longer to roast their evening meal to perfection. No one argued with the man, because he was always right when it came to cooking meat; and knew, intrinsically, just the right way roast things, to send the team into a slavering frenzy of rumbling stomachs at even the slightest whiff.

No one minded that dinner would be a while off yet, not overmuch anyway.

In fact, in the interim, eyes began to glance curiously towards the singular clock in the room, and talk turned to when their last member would return to the fold. Which swiftly devolved into bets being laid, as  per usual, on exactly how close to midnight the errant Scout would arrive back on base. Previous years had seen him race in with mere seconds to spare; and others, with more than four or five minutes. It was always an interesting thing to wager on.

However, all thoughts of the annual gamble faded as delicious fare was placed upon the table before them; and those present took the opportunity to compliment Heavy on the meal, some more emphatically than perhaps was necessary. Though he seemed to enjoy all praise provided on his hard work. Indeed, rarely did the Russian cook such grand fare given how limited their evenings often were, but when he did... it was always a dish that the mercenaries would recall with fondness for years to come.

So enthralled by this feast were the men and Pyro of RED, that most almost entirely missed the realisation that they had all lost their bets in one fell swoop. Not but a few moments to eight o’clock in the evening, who should trudge uncharacteristically quietly past the dining room, but the Scout?

His footsteps barely made a sound, expression dazed and skin pale; Demo would have thought him a figment of his normally over-intoxicated imagination, had Sniper not elbowed him in the side and asked if he’d seen the kid too.

There was no verbal explosion, or torrent of photographs, or… well, anything.

Scout didn’t even seem to register the room full of people who were all slowly turning to stare at him. At least, until someone called out his class-name, startling the runner so badly he actually dropped his bag.

“Ye alright, laddie?” Demo broached, gently.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” comes the stuttered response, not allaying fears whatsoever.

The Scot shares a knowing glance with Engineer before trying again. “Are ye sure? Cause, no offence, boyo, but ye look like death herself decided to half-ass the job and come back for the rest of ye later.”

He’s vaguely waved off, and Scout mutters, “Long flight, that’s all.”

Seeing the topic is closed, the demolitions expert switches tact. “Well then boyo, everything okay at home?”

Scout snorts, winces, and lets out a wheezy chuckle. “Oh, yeah, sure. Ma weren’t happy about the whole jail thing, but I told her Spy wa gonna explain, so that’s fine… seriously, it was a long flight and I think I’m gonna go ta bed.”

Now that WAS unusual.

Eyes that normally studiously avoided the German, all turned to look pointedly at Medic. He’d already laid down his cutlery, frowning after the runner, as if trying to diagnose him from his place at the table.

“You are all terrible at subtlety,” he jests, rising from his seat. No one laughs, he hasn't earned that degree of trust back, just yet. He raises an eyebrow. “Do I need a chaperone with me to safeguard zhe junge?”

The Russian seated to the physician’s left scowls, waving a hand dismissively without making eye contact. “Nyet, just go.”

“As you wish, Herr Heavy.” Medic sighs, abandoning his delectable dinner in favour of chasing down his most reluctant of patients.

~)0(~

Quietly, the man longs for how simple things had been before; how easily his teammates had finally seen past the frightening surgeon and his bonesaw, once they realised that that was not the be-all and end-all of his personality. They had laughed at his jokes, once.

Maybe, one day, they would do so again.

Trust was easily shattered, so fragile. So hard to piece back together.

Medic was a patient man, however, and he would glue the shards back together no matter how long it took. And this small act of fulfilling his role, of helping their youngest in his time of need, would certainly have some sway on their opinions, ja?

Catching himself, Medic shakes his head vigorously, sneering at the thought. How had it come to this? Thinking of using his most basic professional abilities to curry favour with the other mass-murderers on his team? The men, and Pyro, he had come to trust above all else… and who no longer thought him worthy after his… defection?

What would they say if they realised where his mind went, when they asked him to provide aid to the ill?

Medic sighs, glasses skewing as he rubs at tired eyes. Everything had been going so well, he thought… the Smissmas festivities were good, and no one had excluded him…

Betrayal does not have a sell-by date, however, and there is a chance that it shall never be wiped clean; no matter the fact he had single-handedly conquered death and brought Sniper back from the brink. He had sided with their enemies, and smiled as the Kiwi had been shot.

That was the image they retained. His grin, and Sniper bleeding to death in waist-high sea water as a cave crashed down around them.

So mired in his thoughts, Medic failed to notice that he had already made it to his room. The fact the door was slightly ajar made him pause, however; giving the odd impression that someone else had been here already… most likely Spy. The man had yet to show himself from wherever the Frenchman was skulking on base, nursing his hangover with equally-unhealthy cigarettes.

Sighing, Medic decides he just doesn’t care and sets about locating his old medical bag. It was stashed in here somewhere…

To be perfectly honest, he wasn’t entirely sure where. The infirmary was well-stocked, and the majority of injuries could be cured utilising the various mediguns; he had not had to use his more common medical items, much less his archaic set received after graduating, in such a long time that clearly they’d been misplaced.

He could, of course, head to the infirmary for an additional set… but it was so very far away, and the German was tired. Frustrated at the fruitless search, Medic huffs and resists the urge to stomp his foot like a kind would; but only just.

Instead, he startles at the quiet cough somewhere in the general vicinity, as a bag clunks metallically at his feet.

Medic brightens immediately. “Herr Spy, I vould kiss you if I could find you!”

There is a faint sound of amusement. “Zen I do believe I will stay ‘idden for ze time being, Docteur. In anycase, I believe you ‘ave a patient in need of seeing to.”

Neither say anything further, as Medic scoops up the bag, and the invisible espionage agent continues to fill the Doctor’s room with the vague scent of clove cigarettes. When he leaves, Medic makes certain the door is slightly ajar… to which, faint laughter can be heard issuing forth from the seemingly-empty room.

 - - - - - -- -- 

Thoughts?

It’s not done or even close, but it is 4am and I defs should not have played tf2 until 1am before starting this... it will be a sick-fic and character interaction study, sort of. 

The idea for this was something i dreamt up prior to #6 coming out, btw. So none of that features.

[tonimartz]

CSS is a powerful coding language that can give style and personality to HTML. CSS animations, in particular, are created by transitioning between various CSS configurations over a period of time. There are a lot of extremely practical cases for CSS animation, such as the ability to animate HTML elements without the use of JavaScript or Flash (although some do utilize JavaScript). In this article, we’ll be taking a look at 15 lighthearted CSS animation projects to give you inspiration for your next endeavor. These are going to be practical applications that have a certain level of whimsy and fun to them. Hopefully, they’re just as fun to work on! Google’s Game of the Year The Game of the Year animation for Google looks like a fairly simple CSS animation. It features the title text falling slightly, and the elements bumping into each other. While there is plenty of code that went into this, the core is animating the rotation of the elements after a delay. Cascading Solar System See the Pen Cascading Solar System! by Tady Walsh (@tadywankenobi) on CodePen. The author of cascading solar system obviously has an eye for humor, naming his project so that it also can be abbreviated as CSS. This is an impressive but unassuming animation that models the solar system in 2D. The orbits use a scaled rotation speed so that they’re all accurate to their real-world counterparts. Gooey Menu See the Pen Gooey Menu by Lucas Bebber (@lbebber) on CodePen. Menu animations are a pretty common use of CSS, and this gooey menu is no exception. This has plenty of small details, including a slight increase in size when hovering over the button, and then the bouncy, gelatinous animation when the menu expands. Each individual button then highlights when hovered over. It is also a special treat to notice the subtle details. Take note of how the hamburger menu symbol collapses into an X and transforms back when you close the menu again. Flying Birds at Fournier Père et Fils This winery’s homepage features an animation that involves two birds flying across the screen. The process of applying this animation is actually fairly straightforward. The first layer of animation is to animate the birds flapping their wings, which works much like a flipbook. The second step is the animated vertical and horizontal path that the bird follows, in order to make the speed and flight path look natural. This is done through keyframe animation. The best part is, this can be replicated across any number of birds, you will just need to vary the timing a little bit. Ball Loading Animation See the Pen CSS loading animation by Patrik Hjelm (@patrikhjelm) on CodePen. This loading animation is another simple one. It is a vertical line of seven circles that swing back and forth horizontally in a seemingly random pattern. In terms of CSS code, each ball has its own short few lines of animation. Each ball has the same code except for the length of time that it takes to move side-to-side. This creates a variation between each element. The rest of the code defines the keyframe points, so really it’s just selecting two keyframe points and varying the amount of time it takes for the circles to travel between them. While straightforward, this is often all you need for a loading screen! Submarine See the Pen Submarine with CSS by Alberto Jerez (@ajerez) on CodePen. This CSS exercise features a little red submarine roving the ocean. It has several simple animated elements that come together to make a very pleasing looking loop. This is a lot of keyframing and elements linked to each other, but it’s a fun inspiration for your own CSS projects! Circles Loading Animation See the Pen Animated ��� SVG Loader by Steven Roberts (@matchboxhero) on CodePen. Simple loading screens are one of the best ways to show off CSS, and these concentric circles are no different. The code is pretty quick and simple, essentially telling the circles to ease in and out of rotation at different intervals. Since the shapes don’t actually change size, and just rotate around, it’s a pretty straightforward exercise in CSS! And it makes a great addition to any website. Moving Background Mask See the Pen Animated – Background Mask by Steven Roberts (@matchboxhero) on CodePen. At first glance, you might not realize there is an animation going on here. But look closely, and you’ll see the colored background slowly gliding down. This is an extremely subtle effect, but sometimes that’s what CSS is all about! At its core, this is using masking as you might see in a photo or video editing software. It only displays the image on the masked layer, and moves the image along a path. Flat Design Camera See the Pen Flat design camera with CSS animation by Damien Pereira Morberto (@damienpm) on CodePen. This flat design camera image has a clever concept around it. Press the camera button, and it takes a picture! Well, sort of. The images are predetermined for this code, but the potential for more is there. This CSS project has several small moving parts, such as the flashing red light on the left side, and the animation of the entire asset as the camera “prints” a photo. Overall, this definitely has some practical applications for any photo-related app that might access a user’s webcam. Pulse Animation See the Pen Animated – SVG Pulse by Steven Roberts (@matchboxhero) on CodePen. This is another simple but effective CSS animation. And that’s a trend here! Some of the best uses of CSS are straightforward and simple. No need to get overcomplicated with it. This one just sends out a few circles that fade out when they expand to their fullest. It’s pretty easy to come up with and to replicate. So, this is a great place to start for a simple CSS project if you’re looking for inspiration as a newcomer to the language. Bubbling Up See the Pen Animated – SVG Bubbles by Steven Roberts (@matchboxhero) on CodePen. This bubble animation is made up of a few elements and animations. The first level of animation changes the bubble opacity and makes the image move vertically, so it looks like the bubbles rise up out of nothing. The second level of animation creates a wobbling effect to make the bubbles look more alive and natural. This makes great use of keyframes, which really make CSS animations look smooth. Google Now 3rd Party Apps See the Pen Google Now 3rd Party Apps by Paweł Kuna (@codecalm) on CodePen. This animation is inspired by another designer’s concept that was made in After Effects, but this one does it just with CSS! It’s a cute flat icon pack that pops into existence and slides out. This CSS code makes heavy use of keyframes and timing the different elements as they pop in. It’s basically just the same code for each icon, but time-adjusted appropriately. This is great inspiration for making something that is simple overall, but is complex when you put all the pieces together. Hamburger Menu See the Pen Hamburger Icon CSS3 ONLY Animation by Dawid Krajewski (@DawidKrajewski) on CodePen. Don’t let this simple hamburger menu fool you, it’s actually quite complicated. This doesn’t use any HTML or JavaScript and is entirely made in CSS. What makes this complex is the fact that it doesn’t use HTML, so all of the shapes in this animation had to be created within CSS alone. From there, there is a lot of keyframe animation to construct the transformation between shapes. This should get you inspired to ditch the traditional HTML and try something different! Perspective Split Text Animation See the Pen Perspective Split Text Menu Hover by James Bosworth (@bosworthco) on CodePen. This animated menu looks simple on the outside but can make a big impact on any website. When you hover over the area, the text changes perspective to follow your mouse. When you hover over a specific block of text, it gets split in half. The animation uses some different techniques to achieve these goals, so it’s a great inspiration as an exercise for practicing some advanced CSS skills. Floating Ghost See the Pen ghost by Beep (@scoooooooby) on CodePen. Let’s end with something fun! This adorable ghost just floats up and down, indefinitely. The image just eases in and out, up and down, and the shadow underneath expands and contracts. This simple animation is versatile and can be used as a loading screen or just about anything else! A Moving Inspiration CSS is a powerful tool in your web design pocket. Hopefully, these funny and lighthearted animations can inspire you to go out and create your own awesome concepts. Always remember that you don’t have to make something just for productivity’s sake! You can create something just for fun – even if it serves no purpose. And who knows, maybe someone else will see it, and become inspired themselves.

https://1stwebdesigner.com/15-fun-and-inspiring-examples-of-css-animation/

[myupdatestudio-blog]

New Post has been published on Myupdatestudio

New Post has been published on https://myupdatestudio.com/britain-and-us-ban-tech-devices-on-flights/

Britain And US Ban Tech Devices On Flights

A brand new electronic system ban is in all likelihood to inconvenience thousands of expats flying from Africa and the Middle East to Britain and the united states.

                                             Britain And US

In almost simultaneous bulletins, both international locations have issued a ban on all digital Devices carried onto commercial jets as handbags.

The ban is yet to be confirmed in the element by way of both governments but seems to be a response to terrorist attacks towards airliners and airports in Egypt, Turkey, and Belgium.

In the most current, a terrorist concealed explosives in a laptop that were detonated after a plane took off in Somalia.

Happily, the aircraft turned into low sufficient for the pilot to make a managed touchdown regardless of the bomb blowing a hollow In the aspect of the plane.

Banned Airways

The Branch of Place of birth Safety says the ban is aimed at thwarting terrorists in search of to convey down jets after ‘evaluated intelligence’ after investigating the current incidents.

“Intelligence suggests that terrorist corporations continue to target industrial aviation, to encompass smuggling explosive gadgets in various patron objects,” stated the spokesman.The use ban involves around 50 flights a day to the States from airports in North Africa and the Middle East.

The airways covered by using the ban are Royal Jordanian, Egypt Air, Turkish airlines, Saudi Arabian airlines, Kuwait Airways, Royal Air Maroc, Qatar Airlines, Emirates and Etihad Airways.

Turkish officials have protested about the ban, which covers DVD players, games consoles, laptops, drugs, cameras and different handheld electronic gadgets. Smartphones are exempt.

Connecting flights affected

Information on the British ban are awaited but are expected to co-ordinate with America restrictions.

A spokesman for Etihad, the Abu Dhabi airline, confirmed the ban.

“This affects all passengers of all nationalities, together with those arriving from remote places and connecting to a flight blanketed by using the regulations. These passengers could need to make sure their era is stored In the hold at the flight touchdown in Abu Dhabi,” he stated.

The digital gadget ban is similarly to President Donald Trump’s bid to forestall visitors from numerous especially Muslim international locations from entering The use.

The arguably ruling has sparked civil unrest and criminal challenges forcing Trump to rewrite his government order.

Hello Tech Devices Sales Thoughts

High-tech Devices are now the freshest objects promoting gadgets online as people are choosing These much less steeply-priced but very useful digital Gadgets instead of the Excessive end and more steeply-priced computers and electronic appliances. These Devices are easy to apply for maximum “tech savvy” consumers but might also require a chunk of education or for different clients who aren’t acquainted with These varieties of Gadgets.

In case you are a reseller of those Hi-tech Devices, customers having a tough time using These Devices properly may additionally complain and in the end purpose Problems that could have an effect on your business. Despite the fact that These court cases may also appear absurd to the tech savvy, the majority of clients and capability clients are not that knowledgeable and might put critical considerations to these lawsuits.

Keep away from such scenarios and save you proceedings and other Customer Troubles by means of presenting them with easy to recognize Photos and video education guides that even non-techies can understand and follow. Doing so would put you in right terms with customers and you may quickly obtain the benefits via significant increases for your tech system Sales.

The Significance of Video and Photograph-based total education publications

Certainly, one of the biggest mistakes on-line resellers makes whilst advertising and marketing Excessive tech Gadgets is to provide little or even no preparation publications for their customers. Many might also provide some guides however maximum of these are provided in a textual content form that is difficult to apprehend. some can also even just copy what producers provide that may create greater confusion particularly if the machine came from China and the textual content written indefinitely awful English.

this is why Image-based totally and video-based training guides are some distance better, mainly if These guides show a step-via-step graphical training of how These Gadgets are setup and used. The greater precise the instruction manual is, the better it might be for clients to expertise everything they want to recognize about the product – and for that reason would not voice out any proceedings.

Requirements for Making Your Own practice guides

Making your Personal Image-based totally or video-based totally coaching guide is not as tough because it looks. But, it doesn’t suggest that you may surely take Photos right here and there or seize video footages with the system in movement. You may want a few education and planning before making a good practice guide that your customers can recognize and nearly use.

You do not need to buy an high-priced High definition digital camera or camcorder to take Photographs or Motion pictures. So long as you may get clean Photos and Movies that display pictures like device elements and additives exceedingly, then you may start taking materials on your preparation manual. it might be a first-rate advertising ploy if you may use an amazing digital camera which you are really selling for your keep and really pointing out this truth in your practice guide. just ensure which you have sufficient flash memory in which you may save your captured snapshots and footages.

but earlier than you can start taking Snapshots or video footages, it might be appropriate to have a script first. A script is your manual on how the sequences of pictures are to be made. It’ll also let you give attention to what’s relevant for your guide and critical to your clients. A script is likewise critical to hold your dialogs in check, especially In case you are making an academic video.

After taking several Snapshots and footages, you may employ photo or video editing software program to streamline and edit your production into its final shape. There’s no want in order to spend enormous amounts for These software applications as there are dozens of exact open supply photo and video enhancing software program which you can download online.

[i-am-very-very-tired]

How to Ask For a Pay Raise

If you feel like you have been doing an excellent job at work, don’t be afraid to approach your employer for a raise. Many people are afraid to ask for raises even though they know they deserve them, making excuses like, “The economy is so down right now” or “I’ll never find a good time.” If this sounds like you, then it’s time to stop getting in your own way and to start making a game plan for getting the higher salary you deserve.

Part One of Four: Gathering information 1 Make sure you have leverage. Getting a pay raise in most industries is hard to achieve unless you have some leverage. Leverage can consist of such things as getting another job offer performing above and beyond your job description consistently, effectively, and regularly. [1] If you are a “star employee,” a good company will often be able to find a bit extra to keep you satisfied. Be aware that it is a fairly standard tactic to tell you that the business is already over its annual budget, to try to deter you from asking.[2] This means that you need to know your worth as assessed against objective criteria (see below) and be persistent. If you’ve already negotiated a pay deal with your boss, it may be harder to ask for more. Your boss assumes you’re happy with the amount you’re getting and isn’t not likely to be favorably disposed to adding more financial burden to the company without good reason. Be careful about using another job offer as leverage. Your boss may call you on it; it’s important to really have such a job offer and be willing to take it if you’re rebuffed by your boss. Be ready to walk that plank!

2 Have realistic expectations. If your company is already “over budget” and suffering as a result of the recession, cut-backs, or any other reasons, you might be better off waiting until later. During a recessionary period, some companies will not be able to provide pay raises without also endangering your job. However, this doesn’t mean that you should use this as an excuse to delay asking for a raise indefinitely. 3 Know your company’s policies. Read the employee handbook (and company intranet, if you have one), or better yet, talk to someone in Human Resources. Here are some things you should figure out: Does your company require annual performance reviews to determine your salary? Do salaries advance according to a fixed schedule or rank? Who can make the decision (or ask for it to be made)? 4 Know what you’re worth - objectively. It’s easy to believe you’re worth more, especially if you feel as if you’re giving 110 percent every day, but you need to demonstrate this objectively by assessing your worth against that of others in the same industry. Many employers say they don’t give a raise until the employee does 20% more work than he did when he was initially hired. Here are some things you can take into account when you consider your worth: Your job description Your responsibilities, including any management or leadership tasks Years of experience and seniority in the company’s line of work Your level of education Your location 5 Gather some market data for similar positions. While this may be something you took into account when you first negotiated your salary, your role and responsibilities probably have changed. Look at similar levels in the industry to see what others are being paid for similar work. Determine the usual salary range for those who do what you do in your region or area. Getting market data for comparable positions can empower you by helping you be and feel more knowledgeable when you talk with your boss. You can check out comparable positions at Salary.com, GenderGapApp, or Getraised.com.[3] While these things will be helpful when you build your case, they should not be used as the principal argument for getting a pay raise; they simply inform you about your potential worth, not your boss.[4] 6 Keep abreast of the trends in your industry. Subscribe to and read at least one trade journal regularly and make it a point to discuss the future with your colleagues. You should also keep your eyes on the horizon and regularly envision the path ahead for your company and for the industry. Make it a point to consciously set aside time at the end of each month to critically examine the path ahead. The very act of anticipating needed actions will serve you well in day-to-day operations and in salary re-negotiaon: You will be leading the way into the future and enhancing the company’s ability to capitalize on the changing market.

Part Two of Four: Building a case 1 Prepare a list of your accomplishments. It is best to use accurate performance measures such as quality improvement, customer satisfaction, and, especially, growth in profits. The list will remind you of your own worth, make it concrete, and provide an objective basis for your demands. While some people believe it’s helpful to write down accomplishments to present to your boss, others believe your accomplishments should already be evident and you should only need to highlight those to remind your boss of what he already knows and reinforce that knowledge.[5] It depends on what you know about your boss’s preferences, your relationship dynamics with your boss, and your own level of comfort with reciting your accomplishments verbatim. If you choose to convince your boss verbally, memorize the list. If you choose to present a written copy to your boss for his or her reference, have somebody proofread it for you first. 2 Review your work history. Pay particular attention to projects you’ve worked on, problems you have helped solve, and how business operations and profits have improved since you started. This is about more than just doing your job well, which you’re already expected to do, but about going above and beyond the duties of your job and, ultimately, it boils down to improving the company’s bottom line. Some questions to consider when developing your case include: Did you complete or help to complete a tough project? And get positive results from it? Did you work extra hours or meet an urgent deadline? Are you continuing to demonstrate this type of commitment? Did you take initiative? In what ways? Did you go beyond the call of duty? In what ways? Did you save the company time or money? Did you improve any systems or processes? Did you empower others with your support and guidance or training? As Carolyn Kepcher says, “A rising tide lifts all boats,”[6] and a boss wants to hear that you’ve helped facilitate team members and make them stronger, more positive forces for the company. 3 Consider your future value to the company. This indicates to your boss that you see the larger picture and are positioned to help the company identify and capitalize on opportunities as they arise. You will always be one step ahead of the others in thinking about where the company is headed.[7] Be sure to identify specific long-term goals and objectives that will benefit the company in the future. Keeping an existing employee happy is also less of a hassle than conducting interviews and hiring a new one. While you don’t want to say this outright, emphasizing a positive role in your company’s evolution which helps assure the company’s future success will definitely resonate with your boss. 4 Decide what level of pay raise you’re looking for. It’s important not to appear greedy, but rather to remain realistic and reasonable. If you feel comfortable with your position, tie the salary increase to the increased revenue or profit that is tied to your past successes and expectations for the near future. If you anticipate being able to bring home a lucrative project or contract in the next few months, that may well fund your pay raise (and more). The implication that the next ten months of your year are all bottom-line profit does not have to be stated explicitly, but, if the case is made convincingly, the conclusion is inescapable. If your boss sees an easy way to justify the salary increase to superiors, you are in a strong position, indeed. The usual tactic of negotiating from a much higher point isn’t as good an idea with salary increase requests because your boss might think you’re trying to milk the company and push the boundaries. You can break the numbers down so they seem less imposing. For example, you can explain it as being an extra $40 a check rather than $2,200 for the year.[8] You can also negotiate for more than just a pay raise. Maybe you’re happy to take other things in lieu of money, such as shares in the company, a wardrobe allowance, rental assistance, or even a more prestigious title. Ask for a company car, or for a better one. If appropriate, talk about increased benefits, more conspicuous job titles, and modifications to your responsibilities, management oversight, or assignments. Be prepared to compromise and haggle. Even though you haven’t given your boss an unrealistic figure, you should expect some bargaining to go on if your boss is receptive to the request. 5 Don’t be afraid to ask. Though it can be hard to get a pay raise, it’s worse to fall into the mindset of not asking for a pay rise, ever. In particular, women are often afraid to ask for a pay raise due to a mindset that does not want to appear demanding or pushy.[9] See this as an opportunity to show that you care enough to develop a career trajectory that favors your workplace as well as yourself. Negotiation is a learned skill. If you are afraid of this aspect, take some time out to learn it and practice implementing it in a variety of contexts before approaching your boss. 6 Choose the right time. Successful requests are all about good timing. Ask yourself what you have done within a demonstrable time period that has made you more valuable to the firm or organization. It doesn’t make sense to ask for a pay raise when you’ve not yet demonstrated anything amazing for the firm – regardless of long you’ve been there. The time is right when your value to the organization is clearly high.[10] This means seizing the iron while it’s hot and asking for a pay raise off the back of excellent successes such as holding a highly successful conference, getting fantastic feedback, getting a big client signed on, producing outstanding work that outsiders have praised, etc. Don’t choose a time when the company has just posted major losses.[11] Asking for a pay rise based purely on “time done” is dangerous because it makes you appear like a timekeeper rather than someone interested in the company’s progression. Never say to your boss: “I’ve been here for a year and I deserve a pay rise.”[12] Your boss will be likely to respond, "And so what?”

Part Three of Four: Asking for a raise 1 Make an appointment to talk to your boss. Set time aside. If you just walk up and ask for a raise, you’ll seem unprepared – and come across like you don’t deserve one. You don’t have to give too much advance notice, but do seek privacy and a time you know you won’t be interrupted. For example, when you walk in to work in the morning, say: “Before you leave, I’d like to speak with you.” Remember, a face-to-face request is far harder to turn down than a letter or email. Try to avoid Monday, when there will be a million things to do, or Friday, when your boss may already have other things on his mind. 2 Present yourself well. Be confident, not arrogant, and stay positive. Speak politely and clearly to better maintain your composure. And finally, keep in mind that it probably won’t be half as bad to ask as it did to work up the nerve! When you talk to your boss, lean in a bit if you’re sitting down. This will help project confidence. Start by saying how much you enjoy your job. Being personable will help make that human connection with your boss. Follow up by discussing your achievements. This will show your boss why a pay raise matters to you. 3 Ask for the raise in specific terms and then wait for your boss’s response. Don’t just say, “I want a raise.” Tell your boss how much more money you want to make in percentage terms, such as wanting to make 10% more money. You can also talk in terms of how much you would like your yearly salary to increase. Whatever you say, be as specific as possible, so your boss sees that you’ve really thought it through. Here are the things that can happen: If it’s an outright “no,” see the next section. If it’s “I need time to think about this,” try to pinpoint a future time for reopening the discussion. If your boss agrees immediately, say something like, “Don’t say yes unless you mean it” as a means of reinforcing it in his or her mind and then proceed to “hold your boss” to it (see below). 4 Thank your boss for his or her time. This is important regardless of the answer you’ve been given.You can even go “over and above” by giving your boss more than they’re expecting from you, such as a thank-you card or lunch invitation to say thanks. Consider sending a follow up email as well even if you’ve said thank you person multiple times. 5 Hold your boss to the promise. If the answer was yes, the final hurdle may be actually receiving the raise. Back-pedaling – or even simple forgetfulness – are always possibilities. Don’t jump to conclusions if the raise does not go into effect right away. Things do go wrong: your boss might encounter resistance from the higher-ups or face budgetary problems, etc. Making your boss feel bad about reneging (for example, mentioning someone you know who asked for a pay raise only to have a boss take it back and how staff morale plummeted). This will have to be done subtly and with tact. Ask when your boss will implement the pay raise. A subtle way of doing this might be to ask if there is anything you need to sign to put it into effect. Go one step further and tell your boss: “I guess that you’ll have this arranged by the end of the month after you’ve approved the paperwork,” etc.; this puts a plan into action so that he or she doesn’t have to.

Part Four of Four: Dealing with a refusal 1 Don’t take it personally. If you allow the rejection to sour your attitude or affect your work, your boss will probably feel like (s)he made the right decision. If you develop a reputation for having a bad attitude or for not accepting feedback, then your boss will be even less likely to give you a raise. Once your boss gives his final verdict, be as gracious as possible. Don’t walk out of the room and slam the door. 2 Ask your boss what you can do differently. This demonstrates your willingness to take your boss’s opinions into account. It may be that both of you can agree on increased responsibilities and activities over a certain time period that gradually leads to a new role and a pay increase. This will also demonstrate your commitment to your job and your ability to work hard. Your boss will see you as a go-getter and you’ll be on his radar the next time raise season rolls around. If you are a star employee, keep performing excellently and ask again in a few months time. 3 Send a follow-up email saying thank you. This provides a dated, written record that you can remind your boss of in future negotiations. It will also remind your boss that you’re grateful for the conversation that you had and shows him that you have follow-through. 4 Be persistent. Your desire for a pay raise is now out in the open and your boss should be concerned about the possibility that you are looking for work elsewhere. Set a date for when you will ask again. Until that time, be sure to kick your work into high gear. Don’t slack off just because you’re disappointed that you won’t be getting a raise yet. 5 Consider looking elsewhere if the situation doesn’t change. You should never have to settle for less than you deserve. If you’re shooting higher than your company is willing to pay, maybe it’s better to apply for a different position that has a higher salary – either with your company or another one. Think this possibility through carefully; there’s no need to burn bridges just because your conversation with your boss didn’t go well. It’s better to stick with it for a little while longer to try to work for that raise. But if months have passed and you haven’t gotten the recognition you deserve in spite of your hard work, then don’t feel bad about seeing what other companies have to offer.

Look at your current job responsibilities and expectations. Ensure that you’re doing all of these fully and without reminder or having others cover your back. From there, try to identify areas that could be done more effectively with modifications, systematization or changes to procedures. Remember that managers view a pay raise as a reward for excelling not for time put in doing the minimum standard.

Follow the chain of command when asking for a pay raise. For example, if your immediate boss is a supervisor, don’t go over your boss’s head to the department manager. Instead, approach your immediate boss first and let him or her tell you the next step. Prior to asking for any raise or increase in compensation, be sure that you’ve handled any and all projects, jobs, and issues on your plate. Asking for a raise in the middle of something you’re currently working seldom works. Remember that timing matters! Improve your qualifications, if you can. You don’t have to wait around or make your case on seniority alone. Better qualifications mean that you can offer more to your employer. Take a class, get a certification or license, or take the initiative to learn new skills on your own. Then, use these achievements to demonstrate that you’re worth more than you used to be. Consider asking for more responsibilities to justify your pay raise. That will go over better than simply asking for more money, especially if your current responsibilities don’t require you to do much above the call of duty and your employer thinks that you’re adequately paid. Many companies subscribe to industry salary surveys. Ask your boss to consult that information when determining your new compensation, especially if you think your pay has lagged behind that of your peers. It will lend credence to your well-researched comparisons. Have a reasonable figure in mind (e.g., from salary surveys) and prepare to negotiate. Be nice but firm when negotiating, and don’t get emotional. (Remember, it’s business, not personal.) If your employer doesn’t grant you a satisfactory pay raise, try negotiating concessions such as performance-based bonuses, or extra paid time off, perks or benefits. Whatever you succeed at negotiating, ask for it in writing with authorizing signatures. Command a pay raise, don’t demand it. For example, you might tell your boss that you’d like to know what you can do to increase your salary or hourly wage in the near future, instead of insisting on a pay raise for your past accomplishments. It’s not a good idea to justify asking for a pay raise by simply stating, "I need the money.” It’s a much better idea to prove that you deserve a pay raise, by emphasizing your value to the company. Documenting your accomplishments is a good way to do that. For example, you might include your accomplishments in a “presentation” to show your boss, a “cheat sheet” to refer to while negotiating your pay raise, or a letter asking for an appointment to discuss it. Be specific; use quantified examples. Check your employee policy manual (or similar document) for information related to asking for a pay raise. For example, if a policy states how to go about it, then follow it to the letter. But if a policy unconditionally states that your employer will not grant an out-of-cycle pay raise, it might be a good idea to stick it out until your next review and request a better-than-usual pay raise. Asking for such a pay raise will probably go over better than trying to buck the system.

Think twice about threatening to quit if you don’t get a pay raise. It rarely works. No matter how valuable you think you are to the company, don’t make the mistake of thinking that you’re indispensable. Eager beavers willing to learn your job for less pay are almost always waiting in the wings. If you do quit later for lack of a raise, be careful what you say in your resignation letter so it doesn’t bite you down the road. Keep the discussion focused on your work, and your value. Never use personal issues, including financial shortfalls or other problems, as the reason for needing a raise. This is business and that demonstrates personal weakness, not something you want your boss to know. Talk in terms of the value of your services. Recognize that your boss has deadlines and budgets to contend with. The fact is that employers have much more experience in the field of negotiations. This is the reason why the biggest mistake an employee can make is being unprepared for the negotiation. Stay positive. Do not use this time to gripe about management, coworkers, conditions, or anything else. And do not drag other co-workers into the equation for comparison. This will seem like sour grapes even if you’re praising them. If you must raise a concern for some reason, present it politely and come equipped with remedies and suggestions at a time different from asking for a pay raise.